Only my children...

..would accidentally dial 911. While I am in. The. Bathroom.

Yes, I am serious.

I let my little kids play with my cell phone sometimes, it keeps them happy in the grocery store or busy for a minute while I get something done. Like going to the bathroom. But, I ALWAYS make sure it is key locked.
Yesterday, I was in the bathroom (have a mentioned I was in the bathroom?) and I could hear a little rough housing going on out in the living room but, heck, that's usual. Especially if (everyone now:) I'm in the bathroom. Well, Josie soon comes in and she's crying and has the cell phone up to her ear. She says "The lady wants to talk to you"
I say: Hello?
Lady: This is the 911 operator. It seems like your baby has called 911 and I need to make sure there is no emergency.
Me: Um. Who is this??
Lady: see previous statement made by Lady.
Me: I am so sorry! I don't know how that happened, it is key locked.
Lady: Ok. Maybe don't let the baby play with the phone.

I get off with her and I double check to make sure my phone was key locked and it WAS!!
I went online and found that even if a cell phone (at least mine) is key locked, all you have to do is hold down the dial button for at least 3 seconds and viola! You're talking to the 911 operator. While you're in the bathroom!

Motherless

Disclaimer: this is not a griping post but rather ponderings of mine. In case it starts to sound like griping and moaning and groaning, please remember that I love my husband. He is a great dad and provider for us all.


I was out of the house today for about 4 hours. I went shopping for the kids' school clothes and also my weekly grocery shopping. I went with my sister in law and my niece. We even took a break and stopped and had some food and drinks (but I will deny that part if asked). I accomplished quite a bit in only 4 hours, especially if you compare what I would normally get done,if I had taken my kids with me.

I don't get to go out by myself often. I run to the store to get milk sometimes. Or even if I do go for an extended amount of time, I take at least 1 kid with me. It gives me time with 1 child exclusively for some time.

My husband is a wonderful dad but a terrible mother. He doesn't know where anything is or at least he pretends he doesn't. Things that come naturally to me, they never occur to him. Like feeding the children. And changing diapers even if they aren't leaking or stinky. But the kids always survive.

But. Whenever I do manage to go anywhere by myself, I am always greeted with a messy house and lots of whining and sippy cups thrust in my face with "plweeze mommy. I want some." Or "Can I.." Or "Dad wouldn't....". To be fair I do also get greeted with lots of "MOMMY!!!" and hugs and kisses. And that's always fun.

But it makes my wonder. If something (God forbid) was to ever happen to me, how would my husband cope? Besides being beside himself with grief I mean. Would it ever occur to him to go and buy more diapers? Or more milk before breakfast the next morning? Would he know where the fabric softener was? Would he even know how to use it? Would he know that Jarrett doesn't like Jeven using the blue sippy cup? Would he know that the yellow skirt in Josie's drawer is too short for her and she can only wear it to bed? How long would he let the filth and grime pile up before he cleaned?

I tried really hard today to not complain about the shape of the house or the fact that I have a sneaking hunch that hubby spent most of the time in his chair while kids did whatever, thirsty and hungry.

From him, I got the greeting of the silent treatment. And I thought that unfair as I had brought home treats. When I asked him if he was mad, he said he didn't know that I was going to be gone so long. Well, duh!! If I had told him how long I was going to be gone, I would have never gotten away!

But how long until it's not such a big ordeal to get away for awhile, by myself? Whenever I do, it's like I have left motherless children behind. And I have to apologize for being gone at all.

Un-disappointed

The last few weeks, Jayce has been going to summer school. Actually, I wouldn't call it summer school--most people don't shell out $175 (with 50% discount) for their kid to go to summer school. It was a day camp type thing for kids that need a little more "challenge" in their school work. Jayce had to have written verification from his teacher that he was a TAG student and could handle the work.

His classes were his pick. He took 2 classes--a science class and a "Physics with K'NEX class". The second being his favorite. He learned how to build bridges, towers, cars and how changing even one tiny piece can affect the performance of your project. At least that's what he was supposed to learn.

Today was his last day and they had a "Parent Day" where we could go and collect his work and see all that he built. We had told Jayce at the beginning of the sessions that he would NOT be the smartest one in the class, unlike normal school. And we were right. You should have seen these projects these 3rd, 4th graders built! Amazing! You could see all the work that went into them and as we walked over to Jayce's stuff, we could hear the kids explaining to their parents why they built them the way they did and what they learned. Then we saw Jayce's stuff.

Now, we have never purposefully compared our kids to any other kids, in a negative way. But it was hard not to today. His things were sadly, lacking. When we asked if he followed along in class and did the assignments, he said he had but it was more fun to try and build a car, which was not part of the class and therefore we didn't get to see that.
I walked out of there disappointed in him, not that what he did was "bad" but that he didn't try to follow the teacher's suggestions. I KNOW he could have done what the other kids did, I KNOW he could have built an elaborate tower with swings and flashing lights. But was I disappointed because he missed out on a great opportunity to learn something or was I disappointed because from the outside, he looked different?

Our pastor said once to not tell your kids "I am disappointed in you" but tell them "You broke a rule" or "That's not allowed" etc. His reasoning is our children can't help how WE FEEL about them, they can only control what THEY DO. And that makes sense.

I came so close today to telling Jayce I was disappointed but I held my tongue.

Tonight, as I was talking to him at bed time, he said that maybe next year, he'll take that class again and maybe then he'll be smart enough to build like the other kids.
So, here I was disappointed that he didn't live up to MY expectations and he was beating himself up these last 3 wks, and convinced himself he couldn't do what those other kids were doing.
I was so glad I didn't go with my first reaction, seeing his projects in that classroom. I don't want to be the one to crush him and make him feel bad about himself. What kind of mom would I be.

He did say he had a ton of fun in this summer program and he wants to do it again next year. Which, at 9 yrs. old, isn't that the point?

Plus, now that I think about it--what if he had asked me to help him build one of those elaborate thingys? I would have been in deep trouble!! I don't think they make towers one big, long piece (like Jarrett and Jeven's towers, where they just stack blocks and then Godzilla them). Nope, don't think that would have impressed anyone.

Potpourri

I have been putting off posting, not because I haven't anything to write about but because I have too much. And these last few days, I have been extremely grumpy, for the only reason that I am female. It is highly unfair that once a month, we (at least I) turn into monsters. I turn into a mother that is too bothered by her children and a wife that takes all of life's sorrows out on her husband. I can't control it, I can only wait, along with my innocent victims, until the storm passes. So, I have avoided posting because I was afraid it would turn into griping and whining.

I wanted to post about our trip to the zoo. It was extremely fun but so much work! We went with my parents so technically, we were at a 1:1 ratio, but still. But the kids enjoyed all the animals, the best parts were when they got to witness nature at it's best--animals peeing. They all thought it was hilarious. And I suspect their dad did too! Must be a man thing....

I wanted to post about almost losing my son in the pond. THAT was extremely not fun. We had been bribing Jarrett that if he went poop in the potty, we would take him fishing and it finally happened. We left Jeven with my mom and took the other 3 kids to a pond down off the freeway. It was brushy and buggy and muddy. Judd and I would separate, go into little "cut outs" and Josie and Jayce would go back and forth between us while Jarrett would stay with his dad. We both were just trying to get a fish on so Jarrett could reel it in. We made it about 1/2 way around the pond, when all of the sudden Jarrett was gone. I mean GONE. Judd took off back down the trail where we had come from, I went ahead to make sure he didn't go past us. I finally decide there was no way he went past so I went after Judd. I am running up this trail and I meet about 10 people, coming my way. I am crying and yelling out his name and these people say: "He's back there". I ask: "Does his Dad have him?" and they say "no, but he'll find him". These people had seen my 3yr. old baby boy, wandering around a pond, crying and didn't stop him. I couldn't believe it!! Needless to say, Judd got him back and all was well. But during that lifetime that Jarrett was lost, time stood still and my world fell down around me. Hard to believe that can happen in a blink of an eye, and it only takes approx. 2 minutes. We ended up not catching any fish and just going home.

I wanted to post about deciding to take better care of myself. Seems all of the sudden, now that I am not pregnant or breastfeeding, my body finally belongs to me again and I don't want it!! It's too big and too old. If I knew then what I know now...I would have worn more sunscreen (wrinkles) and drank more water (too much soda nowadays). I have set out to eat healthier, not necessarily diet, and move around more and seek out more "me" time. It is a hard thing to do! My kids and husband have always came first, then when I am on the verge of a nervous breakdown, I will go and take care of me. But I am finding when I am happier, my family is happier.

I wanted to post about how tight financially things are right now. More so than normal. I go grocery shopping weekly and prices will go up in just that short amount of time. And always on the things we need. Weird. I think most people would be surprised what I spend on groceries, for a family of our size. I have been told by financial counselors, it is about 1/2 of what is considered normal. It's hard to tighten that belt any tighter! And , while I am thinking about it, why does it cost more to eat healthier?

Like I said, I had alot to talk about. Our summer is going by fast already. The kids come inside every night, covered from head to toe with dirt and stickiness from ice cream and tired from playing with all their friends. Just like kids should be every summer! Life for them is going so slow but as their mommy, it could slow down, just a tad.

Cuteness overload

Warning: it's gonna get a little sappy so prepare yourselves!

My kids are cute. Really, I am not just saying that. And they are funny! Like really funny--they understand a good joke. And they say the funniest things. Even Jayce who is old and wise in all his 9 yrs. ( according to Jayce himself).

I thought I would note some of the things I can recall from just the last few days. You may think they aren't that great and maybe perhaps they are "you had to be there" moments, but I want to remember them.

Jayce: He and his dad use "manly shampoo" while me and the little kids use different stuff. Jayce informed me the day after I had spent 2 hours and millions of dollars at the store, that we were out of manly shampoo. I told him to use mine, "it's the stuff in the orange bottle". That was several days ago. This morning he gets out of the shower and says " That CARCASS shampoo doesn't work very good." I said "WHAT?" Again he says something about the CARCASS shampoo. We go back and forth, me trying to determine that he indeed is using the stuff in the orange bottle and him being very determined that he was using CARCASS shampoo. We go into the bathroom and he points and says "that stuff". It was my CARESS body scrub!! First we had a good laugh that it was not carcass and then we realized that all week he'd been washing his hair with body scrub!

Josie: She and Jayce were playing outside and they were getting a little rough. She was kicking him and hitting him and he was pretending to be mortally wounded. She got a little too close to his groin area and he told her to not hit or kick boys "there". She said "I didn't kick your ankles!".

Jarrett: Comes in from outside, where the grass was getting a little wild, and asked for the scissors. I tell him no, of course, then it occurs to me to ask "why do you want the scissors?"
"To cut the grass!" Jarrett says.

Jeven was walking around being a chicken the other day and I had to change his poopy pants, Jarrett walks by and says "EWWW!! Chicken poop!!".

Jeven: Jeven doesn't really tell jokes or get sayings mixed up. He just does this:

and this:



which is to say he just goes thru each and every day looking extremely cute and loveable!
Which is fun in itself.

Oh how things change!

A long time ago, when I first started my parenting journey,( in other words, when Jayce was a newborn) I worried about EVERYTHING. You know what I mean, right?
You check to make sure they are still breathing, you analyze their poops, and you worry every time someone holds your precious little baby.
I remember when Jayce was less than a month old, my husband's aunt was holding him and she had on a glittery sweatshirt and I seriously gave myself a headache thinking of how Jayce was going to get a piece of glitter in his mouth, choke and die. All because I let Aunt XX hold the baby!
Or the first time they get sick and you call the doctor every hour to give them an update. Because they are anxiously awaiting to know if your baby has come thru his bout of constipation ok.
Or the first time you clean up puke. The real puke, not the baby spit up stuff but VOMIT. And you either A) puke yourself because it is so gross or B) dig thru it trying to figure out what they ate that made them sick. (by the way, I am choice A).

Then you have another baby and you still check if they are still breathing, but only if you wake up, unlike setting the alarm like before with the first baby. You are a little more experienced and more confident in your skills.

Well, just imagine what it's like when you have 4 children.

The other day, we were getting ready to go somewhere and I came into the living room to see Jeven eating part of my plant, mixed in with some dirt. And what do I say?
"JEVEN!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?? WE HAVE TO GO!! I WILL GET YOU A SNACK IN THE VAN!!"
Can you believe that? Of course, I already knew the plant wasn't poisonous and I figure if he wants to eat dirt, that's his problem.

Today, I found some puke on Josie's bed, not a lot but some. So, I proceed to sniff each child until I find the culprit (Jeven, of course) and I seriously debated on whether or not to change his clothes!! There wasn't much vomit, and I was planning on giving him a bath after nap time.

But it got me thinking, have I gotten lazier or better at judging what is worth freaking out about?
We all know too many parents that have lost a baby, or doesn't have one they desperately want.
I like to think I am better at finding more important things to freak out about. Like blood. Or back talking.

BTW--I did change Jeven's shirt. I thought "I wouldn't want to sleep in a shirt with even a little puke on it".
See, I have matured.

A day to forget

Jayce had his baseball practice last night. It only lasts for 1 1/2 hours. 90% of the time, when I sign him up for a sport, or sign any of the kids up for anything, I am on my own. Judd never really knows what time he gets off work, his day off rotates.
It is a huge pain in the butt to drag the other 3 kids to practices but I can't let the fact that I have 4 children keep Jayce from getting to do important stuff like play sports and make friends.
Usually I prepare fairly well and bring toys and snacks and so forth. Last night was just one huge downward spiral into the dumpster.

This is how practice went last night:
Park.
Let Jayce take our chair and go to the field that I think is literally 1/2 mile out.
I unload boys and Josie (who has NOT had a nap, after our late night Sunday night. This is KEY to story)
Josie has back pack that has a few toys and 2 water bottles in it. Plus usual diapers and stuff.
Jarrett falls on curb. Scrapes his knee pretty good. Get him calmed down.
Josie doesn't want to carry back pack. I tell her too bad. She starts screaming and throwing a fit. While I am whispering in her ear all the terrible things I am going to do to her (we are standing right in front of a soccer game) Jeven falls. Scrapes his knee.
It starts to rain.
I say forget it, we're going to the van.
Josie then starts screaming about THAT.
We haven't even left the parking lot.
But now I have three kids in the van, I can't even SEE Jayce and I just know he's wondering where we are and that when practice is over, he'll come to the van but leave our chair out there. I try calling Kim (sister in law who lives 5 miles from school where we are) to see if she can stop by on her way home, sit in the van while I run out to field but she won't answer.
Now, Jarrett and Josie both have to go potty. There is NO potty!!
I call Michelle who is at Safeway.(other SIL, who lives clear across town!) She says "No problem. I will be right there" ( she is awesome in a sticky situation).
Jarrett has peed his pants. I am not mad, he didn't really have a choice. I change him into the extra clothes that were in the evil back pack.
Josie is still crying that she has to GO!! I see a port-a-potty WAAAYYY out by Jayce's field. I tell her to hold on until Shelly gets here.
Jarrett pees his pants again.
I see Shelly pull in parking lot. Jarrett says he has to go again so I let him pee in the parking lot. I think he was trying to hold it and it just kept escaping, and he was trying so hard not to wet himself. When he finally peed on ground, he peed about a gallon.
I run Josie to potty.
I run out to get chair and tell Jayce what's going on.
Run back to van, tell Michelle thanks a ton and lock ourselves in the van until 6:30.

It is now 5:30.

Spending one whole hour in a minivan with 3 kids, no toys other than a couple balls and only 3 bags of fruit treats, not my idea of a good time.

The best part is that Jayce has practice again tonight!