Surprise!

Disclaimer: This is another one of those posts. If you know me in real life, you are not allowed to bring this up, to my face. Ever.


For the last few years, our church has had a Valentine's dinner. A night out, to a nicer than normal restaurant, married couples only, no children, dinner.  And, after the dinner, the pastor gives us a Marriage Challenge.

If you are like me, your first thought is "Marriage is enough of a challenge, I don't need an official gameboard."

But, hear me out. It's a month of different activities, designed to bring you closer together as a couple. Some of the activities are really lame. Like "repeat your wedding vows" (that one was removed this year,everyone agreed it was lame) or "10 min foot rubs" (both my husband and I don't like to have our feet touched so we substituted something else).

Some are really simple. Bring home flowers. Make his favorite dessert. 30 min of doing whatever he wants.

We've never been able to finish out the whole month. Something always comes up and derails us. But, it's fun trying and the sentiment behind it is important.

Now, on to the embarrassing part. (you didn't even read the first part, did you? Just skipped down to here, huh?)

Some of the activities are to happen in the bedroom. Or, other places. "Remote night" is not referring to the t.v. remote.  "Naughty Poem" night. Self explanatory. No. I will not publish my poem.

The other night was "Surprise Him" night.

Now, we have 4 children. Three of them go to bed pretty early in the evening. The 15 year old stays up late. So, if we want to....you know...we lock the door. Duh. And hope his headphones he's wearing playing Xbox work.

The other night, "Surprise" night, we had had some depressing news. We both were just down and tired and feeling very defeated.

As we got in to bed, Judd asked what the day's challenge was. I told him "I'm suppose to surprise you in bed. But, really, I'm not into it tonight. How about the fact that I'm willing is a surprise???"
He was game. Duh.

We were enjoying our quality time when we heard quite a ruckus outside our bedroom window. Some sort of vehicle noise. We didn't really think too much of it. Until, Jayce knocked on our bedroom door.

We both stop..moving. Listen. Did we just hear a knock?? Maybe if we don't move again, at all, he will go away? 

Jayce :  "Dad? Mom?' 

Judd: looks at me, clears his throat, tries to sound as normal as possible,  "Yes?"

Jayce:  "Somebody just drove up into our yard, up in the grass and over the reflectors at the driveway! And, he drove off and is dragging his bumper down the road! Sparks are flying every where! And, the cops are right behind him!!"

Me (whispering to my husband) "SURPRISE!!!"

Who says you can't still be surprised, even after 20 years together? ( :

Burn!!!

My kids are all very different, but, one thing they all have is a sense of humor. I don't just mean they can tell a knock-knock joke, but they can think of smart comments on the spot. And, like most kids, if they get people to laugh once, they will rinse and repeat many times, hoping for the same response. But, generally, that first zinger is worth it. 

One thing Jarrett (just turned 9) possesses more strongly than my other three kids is the NEED to be right. All. The. Time.  No matter what. No matter that it is obvious to anyone  within a 5 mile radius that he is wrong, he will fight to the death that he is right. Or, a close cousin to always being right, it's somebody else's fault. It makes disciplining this young man very, very.....interesting. More often than not, any correction on our end causes tears on his end as he is so adamant he is in the right.

On a recent afternoon, shortly after the boys had gotten off the school bus, Jarrett said to me: "Mom, didn't you say Mr. Haas (a teacher at school) was my uncle?" 

Me:  "No!! Why on earth would I say that??"
Jarrett immediately breaks into tears.
Me: "Jarrett?? Did you tell people at school he was your uncle?"
Jarrett: "Yes!! You SAID he was!!"
Me: "No. I did not. I would never say anything like that, not even as a joke."
Jarrett:  "Yes!! You DID!!" 

Hot, angry tears are pouring down his face.

Me: "Jarrett. I did not say that. If anything, the closest thing I said was your Uncle Steve knows Mr. Haas, which is true. But, that's not the same as saying he was your uncle!!" 
Jarrett: "You SAID!!"
Me: sigh...."No, I didn't but I'm done talking about this. I'm sure your friends won't even remember you saying that."

Later, after dinner, as we sat and watched "The Andy Griffith Show" (don't you just love that show?), I happened to remember our previous conversation. 

As I started to re-tell the story to Judd, Jarrett again started to cry and grumpily returned to "Mom!! You SAID he was my uncle."

Now, as I'm sure is the way with many fathers, Judd gets extremely irritated with Jarrett when he cries for no "good" reason. If he is physically injured or seriously emotionally hurt, of course Judd is compassionate. But, when he cries just because he's avoiding facing the fact that he is wrong about something, there's no compassion. 

Judd: "Are you crying?? That's silly. You just heard mom wrong, it's no big deal. Stop crying."

Jeven (Jarrett's younger brother), sees a chance to go in for the kill and says: What's the matter?  You upset?  Why don't you go cry to your new uncle!!?"

Was that mean? Yes.
Was it perfectly timed and appropriately used? Yes.
Did Judd and I hide our faces and pretend we weren't laughing? Nope!!
Did Jarrett actually crack a smile and can now, to this day, laugh at himself about the time he thought Mr. Haas was his teacher? Yup!
Does Jeven try the same line any time and place he thinks it might get a laugh? What do you think?

Where the Insane People Live

 I sit here tonight, crouched at the kitchen table, trying to look invisible as it seems I can do nothing without being interrupted or asked "what are you doing?".  Not that this is anything unusual, I've been a mom for 15 years, I know the drill. But, I realized this evening, it has been since before I quit my job, in October, that I've had any significant time to myself. I especially like when I'm home by myself. But, I haven't been home alone for ages. I am in need, that's for sure!!

My grandma ended up being admitted to the hospital and was there for about a week. She then went to a rehab facility. And, here is where I am thankful for my year working at the assisted living facility and my years of volunteering at other facilities. We, as her family, were given the choice of which facility to place my grandma in.  I immediately ruled out several and encouraged my mother to pick the one that Judd's grandma had wonderful experiences with and several of "my" residents went to and returned good as new.
Of course, you take a 83 year old woman who has lived on her own for 30 years, and put her in a place where she can't do her own medications or even use the toilet without assistance and you get a rough trip.
But, she slowly regained some of her strength and eventually was discharged.  She then flew with my aunt and uncle to Alaska and she will stay up there for a bit, while her house is updated to be a safer environment for her.  I'm sad to have her so far away but M&D have no easy task ahead of them.

My aunt and uncle (who I mentioned in the previous post, not in the paragraph above)  needed some help as well, this last month. My uncle required surgery and my aunt does not drive. So, I drove them back and forth to the hospital for several days (him just once, her back and forth to visit and eventually him when he was released) and while the 120 miles a day (yup) were alot, I spent some time with my aunt that I've been related to for almost 40 years (GAWD!!) but only just got to know a few weeks ago, thru the conversations in the waiting rooms, in the car and sitting quietly by my uncle's bed.  Seems she remembers many funny things about my childhood, and has very strong opinions about many things. It was interesting talks, for sure. 

Jarrett is half way thru his basketball season. And, we have decided this will be the last sport we participate in.  We just are not sports people. We could care less, we have many other things going on, we don't have the time to shuffle back and forth to a million practices a week, taking up entire weekends with games. And, the older the kids get,the more competitive the sports become. And, honestly, our kids don't show signs of hiding exceptional athletic ability.  And, being honest again, team sports are rarely about playing as a team. If you're lucky, you will get a coach that attempts to make it appear he's trying to teach them to play as a team. But, more often than not, it's about one or two exceptional kids who hog the ball, out score everyone, all while their parents cheer them on, not caring about anything else but winning. (No, I'm not bitter, why do you ask??)  My kids just want to have fun and wear cool shoes. And, get snacks. So, while they may protest, at first, when we tell them no more sports, I think they will in the long run, be okay.

We sold my husband's Samurai and we are hoping that will take the edge off of our financial stress. We are really trying to avoid me having to go back to work.  But, if I do, I imagine getting my old job back won't be a problem. My "wonderful" boss, that appreciated his employees like one appreciates a zit on their backside, "moved on to other things" most suddenly. I hear that the whole dining room full of senior citizens stood up and cheered the day he left.  

I tell ya, being a grown up is sometimes not everything I dreamed it would be. Sometimes, it's much much worse. But, sometimes, you get your almost 8 year old asking you: "Mom? I have a "Yes" or "No" question. Actually, it's just a "Yes" question. Can I have some soda?"  And, if I don't make a point to concentrate on him, on all of the people I love, big or little, grandmother, aunt, neighbor, check out clerk at the grocery store, I miss the funny things, I miss the intelligence that I thought was missing, the random kind things people do for other people, the random things I can do for strangers, if I don't stop to appreciate the little things that make me smile (like the obvious answer to Jeven's question), I would surely go insane.  And, I've seen where they put insane people, I don't want to go there!   

Next year? I'm Skipping the Entire Month of January

I've hesitated to post this post as it is another Debbie Downer post. And, while I feel the need to gripe and get some feelings out, I hate doing the downer posts.  And, I really do try to stay positive and concentrate on the good. But, dangit. This year has sucked, already!

You may, or may not, remember THIS post from last January.  And, while things are okay, for now, with my husband's job, other "worth crying" about things are happening.

We are in a serious financial pickle, and that is all my husband is willing to share. Things could definitely be worse, but certainly they could be better. It's probably the worst financial stress we've been in during our 17 years of marriage. But....I know things will work out.

But, because we are grown ups, we are trying to sell my husband's "toy". He drives a Suzuki Samurai and he loves it. But, it's our third rig and we really don't need it. So, we have it for sale. Asking a fair price, and while we need to sell it, we certainly don't want to give it away. We've had quite a few people inquire about it. Some have made offers, most were quite insulting. One guy came to look at it, offered my husband half the asking price then proceeded to roll down the window that had the "For Sale" sign in it, thus resulting in the sign falling down in between the window and the door, lost forever. Idiot.
One guy offered us a little cash and credit to use in his tattoo parlor. It's not like my husband's pride isn't already injured, right?

Our dog has some sort of "wound" on his face. It's actually a result of scratching at his ears (that were probably infected) and the wound getting infected. It's gross. It stinks. It's stressing me out. I don't want to have to take him to the vet. I hate the whole dog smell anyways, let alone an infected dog smell. I'm just seriously irked at the stupid dog. But, we've been treating it with hydrogen peroxide and JULI'S  favorite, Neosporin. And, I think there's some improvement. We were also able to get some antibiotic drops for his ears.  And, lest you think we are irresponsible pet owners, of course we will take him to the vet if he doesn't improve soon.

I got into a yelling match with our neighbor. If you know me at all, you know this is a big deal.
She has had it in for Josie for quite some time. Actually, we think it started when my husband told her then teenage son to turn his Rap Crap music down in his car.  Seems he's momma's little angel boy and momma didn't like it. Anyways, we live on a cul-de-sac and all the kids play together. She hates it. And she really seems to think Josie is some sort of gang leader.  But, Josie was trying to be nice and drew her a picture and left it on her door. She was livid.  She called Josie all sorts of names.  Now, my kids can't play outside without me being with them. And, if you know me at all, you know that I might look forward to sending my children OUT and AWAY from me to play.  But, she can't have the chance to get near my kids. Some people suggested I report her, but really, I'm not sure what to report?  I'm thinking that being a witch is not against the law.
My husband and I have always tried to get along with all of our neighbors. Because, really? The people that live next to you aren't the ones you want angry at you. Our neighbor immediately next door gave us her house key. She has no children, lives only with her little dog. We go over and get Fritz from time to time and he plays with the kids and Luther. Our other neighbor's daughter babysits for us.  It's just this one lady ruining our happy little suburbia. 

Last but not least, my 83 year old grandmother fell. She lives out in the country,where she's lived for 40 years, 35 of them alone. She fell outside and crawled across the gravel to pull herself up.  And while she did not break anything, and things could have been so much worse, she spent a week in the hospital and is now in a rehab facility.  And, will probably not be returning to her home.
And, while she was okay with going to the rehab facility, we already know she will not be okay with not going back to her home. And, all of the sudden, my vivacious and feisty grandmother is an old lady. That needs help to do alot of things. 
She has 4 children, my mom, that lives close to me, my aunt who lives 2 hours away, another aunt that while she lives locally, she has her own issues that make her an unlikely candidate to be the responsible party, and my uncle who lives in Alaska.
I guess my point is, much of the care is falling to my mother. And, I of course, want to help out as much as possible.
It has just became a HUGE undertaking. And, while I have some experience in elder care, it's totally different, (but yet the same) when it's your own grandmother.
And, really, I'm very, very happy to help her in anyway possible. This post isn't meant as a complaint at her, just that life can be hard and for us, right now, it seems to be hard all at once, instead of spread out. 

Really? Things could always be so much worse. Hmmmmm....maybe I will get that tattooed on my arm. If we traded the Samurai, it could be done!!

I'm Not a Curb Hoppin' Mama

In this crazy world, there are so many types of mothers. And even more types of children.
With my own four children, while they are similar in many ways, they are vastly so different. It makes this parenting gig challenging. And, fun.

Jeven and I went to Winco today. I do try to avoid the first of the month grocery shopping as it is extremely busy. Food stamp and state income benefits are paid at the beginning of the month, making the grocery store nearly busting at the seams with shoppers. Which I do not enjoy. But, we did need a few things.

As we were walking in, we were behind a young mother, with four small girls. One of them, the smallest, was curb hoppin'. One foot on the curb, one on the sidewalk and hop-hop-hoppin' her way towards the door. The mother was getting impatient and said "Natalie!! Come ON!!" and grabbed her hand and guided her towards the door and away from the curb.  She wasn't mean or abrupt, in any way. I only noticed it because we were following them and, being honest, I would've done the same thing. I have done the same thing. Many times.

I do get impatient with the curb hoppin'.  With the insisting to push the grocery cart even though they can't see over the top. With the wanting to bag the groceries all by themselves. With anything that slows me down, when I (in my mind) am in such a hurry.
When I say I get impatient, I don't yell, I'm not mean. Just like the lady in front of us, I am just ready to move on.

On our way OUT of the store, we passed the same curb and same sidewalk. This time, there was a young mother with one little girl. Of course, the little girl was curb hoppin'. This mother, however, was just walking along side her girl, patiently waiting, going as far as to encourage the curb hoppin'.

What a ironic twist of motherhood.

Of course, this mother only had one child with her. Not four. Anybody that has more than one child knows what a difference grocery shopping is when you only have one child vs. more than one.
If we were to fast forward to a few years down the road, when this mother has another little one, or two, tagging along, the curb hoppin' may be nixed. Or, perhaps not.

Every mother is different. When I saw the first mother, I totally knew what she was thinking when she nixed the curb hoppin' and I thought nothing of it.
But, when I saw the second mother, all relaxed and enjoying her enthusiastic daughter's curb hoppin', I instantly felt guilty. Because I knew that I would never do that.

I was thoughtful on the way home (good thing Jeven is also a deep thinker and doesn't talk non-stop like a couple of his siblings. See, different kids, different personalities) and finally convinced myself to not feel guilty.

I may not be a curb hoppin' mama, but I am a go ahead and empty the entire craft drawer and craft to your heart's content and make me something beautiful, mama.
I am a wear whatever you feel comfortable in, I don't care if it's shorts or your Spiderman costume or your Xmas dress from 2 years ago, mama.
I am a pretend my 65lb 7 year old is a tiny baby and rock him and baby talk to him because that's what he wants, mama.

I am my children's mama. I may not put up with curb hoppin' but that's okay.

To Sum "IT" Up

"IT" being the entire month of December, wherever the heck it went.

As I flipped the calendar from November to December, I was shocked to see something written on every. single. day.  Appointments, jobs, no school days, days off, parties, and birthdays. So many things to organize and keep track of. 

I started my seasonal job the week of Thanksgiving. Worked 530am-1200ish.  It was an easy job and I was thankful to have it as it paid for Xmas. But, I was tired, people. Like, in bed, asleep by 7pm, tired. 

Then, we got approximately 500 feet of snow. Or 2 feet. Whatever. The little boys had 5 no school days!!
And, it wasn't the "let's play in the snow and build a snowman and have tons of fun" type of snow. It was "this snow is so powdery and it is below freezing out here,  let's go back in the house and never, ever come out here again" type of snow.
I had to call in 2 times because the roads were so bad. I had to call in one other time as Jayce (my 15 yr. old) was going slightly insane watching the boys while I was at work. Originally, they were suppose to be at school while I was at work, but the snow altered those plans.
The snow altered alot of plans, actually. 
My husband worked approximately 500 hours of overtime. Or 20. Whatever. That was a plus side to all the snow. Perhaps he will not get laid off next month! (Please, Lord!!)

Jayce turned 15, right in the middle of the snow storm. I risked our lives and took him down to get his drivers permit.  And, then, he couldn't drive for 2 weeks as who is going to teach their kid to drive in the snow? Not me!!
Now, that the snow is melted, his dad has been taking him out to practice.
It's funny, when I was 15, it was a perfectly acceptable age to start driving. But, now? Notsomuch!

Christmas seemed to arrive earlier than expected and brought with it it's own set of issues. Choosing which family party to attend, which party to skip.  I make it sound like we're are in such high demand but mostly, it's the result of divorced parents (my husband's) and everyone wanting their share of time. But, we did manage to have Christmas Eve to ourselves and that was a first. And, it was nice.

With my youngest being 7, it's interesting, and if I'm honest, a little sad, to see the toys being replaced with electronics and clothes. When my husband and I were out shopping, we saw so many toys that our kids would've loved, 5-15 years ago. Woody and Buzz toys were not available when Jayce was into ToyStory, 13 years ago!!  And, the dinosaurs!!!  Where were those when we needed them?? 

The month is closing out on Josie's 11th birthday.  I took her and a friend to the movie "Frozen" (cute!!) and now,as I type, they are getting ready for bed and I'm wondering how much sleep they will actually get. Luther is patiently waiting for the lights to be turned out so he can "sneak" (as much as a smelly, 120lb dog can sneak) into bed with the girls.


Tomorrow we will go to yet another party, where we will stay up way past our bedtimes, hanging out with friends and letting the kids eat as much as they want. We will "ring" in the New Year.

2013 definitely had some low points, but it had some highs as well.

I wonder what 2014 will hold?

Old Fashioned Recipe

Jeven (2nd grader) brought home a flier from school today.

Apparently, the school is making a cook book and asking for parents to contribute recipes.

Great fundraiser, if you ask me.

I asked Jeven if he'd like me to send a recipe with him.

He said "Yes!"

I asked, "Which recipe would you like me to send? What do I make that you LOVE!!"

"You know that stuff that has ice cream, gummy worms, crushed up Oreos, whipped cream and cherries?"

"You mean a 'sundae'?"

"Yeah!! That! Send the recipe for that!"

It's nice to see my hours time on Pinterest, trolling for healthy, yummy recipes was well spent.