Monday, October 11, 2010

The One Where I Was Really Embarrassed.

Before I tell this story, if I know you in real life (IRL), you must never, ever bring this up.  So, like at Thanksgiving dinner, when we're all sitting around eating stuffing and pumpkin pie?  Don't even think about it.  You know who you are.  (In fact, if you don't think you'll be able to resist teasing me about it, just don't read this.)

My husband returned on Friday, after being gone for over a week.  After spending that many days with his 82 yr. old grandfather, hunting for deer, all he brought home was a tiny rock lizard and a desire to eat dinner at 4 in the afternoon. 

And a desire for other activities as well.  (wink wink)

Since I was in desperate need to get out of the house by myself  had a shopping list for Walmart all ready to go, my husband pulls me aside and says "Why don't you get some of that flavored stuff?" (wink wink) I said I was game and headed out the door.

I went to Walmart, put the few things in my cart--soap, light bulbs, bread and flavored "stuff". You know, all the essentials.  It was Friday afternoon, at Walmart. Do I need to go into detail about how long the lines to check out were?  Didn't think so.

I chose the express lane, where a (guessing here) 60ish yr.old lady was the cashier.  Where the man behind me didn't know the meaning of personal space and was in a bigger hurry than me.

Beep. There goes the light bulbs.
Beep. There goes the bread.
Beep. The soap.
Beep. There goes the....


And there's me.  Staring bug-eyed at this cashier lady.  Not only wasn't she aware they made such a thing as flavored lube, but she felt it was necessary to announce to everyone around that I was purchasing some. (and might I add, I am NOT the only one! It was the last one on the shelf!!)

To her credit, she quickly apologized  and threw it into the bag.  It was hard to say who was more embarrassed, her or me.

Probably me. Yes, at 35, even with 4 kids, I can be somewhat of a prude.  Although, not Friday night!!

(please, please, don't bring this up over the grand kids' next birthday party!) 


  1. Oh that is priceless! You poor thing, I would be so mortified! I hope you can laugh about it now!

  2. Bwahahahaha - I love it! Mostly because I've totally been there (maybe was a different product, same idea).

    My favorites are (don't worry, I'm not talking about the "wink-wink" stuff anymore) when I've got all three kids with me, they are all fighting, throwing fits, and I look like I'm going to go CRAZY and then the teenage cashier tries not to make eye contact with me when he sees that at the end of my huge pile of stuff to buy is a pregnancy test and condoms...

  3. I would have been mortified! I make the man get that stuff including toys, etc! Never, ever me!

  4. Karey,
    I was also going to tell the story about when I suspected I was pregnant with Jarrett and I was doing daycare. Off I went to Safeway with my 2 plus about 3 others. Of course, the pregnancy tests were kept behind the customer service desk. I had to ask for them.
    Here I was, my cart over flowing with children. "May I have an EPT test, please?"
    I got the "You've got to be kidding me" look from the man behind the counter!

  5. Oh! You poor thing! I'd have died on the spot from embarrassment. Or at the very minimum wished I had!

  6. Strawberries, huh?

    I have nothing to add here. Really.

    But I am sort of laughing.

    At you. Not with you.

  7. And you have to email me so you can see what the word verification for that last comment was. It was SERIOUSLY...


    I will email it to you.

  8. You have got to be kidding me! Walmart sells that?!? Not here in the bible-belt they don't!! ;) I can imagine the protestors now if such a thing dare to present itself on a "Family Store" such as Walmart here in Mississippi! That is too funny!! I wish I could have been with you so I could have snapped your picture all "bug-eyed"... you know... just for the blog and all! ;)

  9. What a great story! OMG! Makes me glad we buy all our, ahem, "products" online!! (and, yes, I am 51, not a prude, but DAMN that would have been mortifying!)

  10. If I cant tease you about it at Thanks Giving then I better get it over with now.
    I never knew you were so porn starish.. I mean adventerous!! I can totally see that happening to me, but you!! NO I am kidding it is always you quiet, non-swearing, god fearing, goodie two shoes that are the craziest in the bedroom. Wink wink!!

  11. MAN! They don't sell it at Walmart here either... heck if you're in a "toy" store in this state without a wedding ring on your hand they think you're like evil or something. My husband "before we married" went to check things out after moving to Utah from Oregon. Lets just say he was quite uncomfortable being in there alone with no wedding band on his hand.

    I'm sorry you had to be embarrassed by the little old lady...good that you can laugh about it now.

  12. Hilarious! At least the kids weren't with you to start asking questions!

  13. Ohh-la-la, you put me to shame. My Captain Hook got nothing, and you're out buying flavoured lube! You go!
    By the way, I have four kids too and I think they are in the same order as yours: boy, boy, girl, that right?
    Terrific post! I laughed when you said that hubby came home with a lizard! That's not a deer, dear!

  14. Wanna know what's better than laughing at this post?

    Laughing about it 3 1/2 years later when you're reading it for the "first time"...again. haha



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