Motherless

Disclaimer: this is not a griping post but rather ponderings of mine. In case it starts to sound like griping and moaning and groaning, please remember that I love my husband. He is a great dad and provider for us all.


I was out of the house today for about 4 hours. I went shopping for the kids' school clothes and also my weekly grocery shopping. I went with my sister in law and my niece. We even took a break and stopped and had some food and drinks (but I will deny that part if asked). I accomplished quite a bit in only 4 hours, especially if you compare what I would normally get done,if I had taken my kids with me.

I don't get to go out by myself often. I run to the store to get milk sometimes. Or even if I do go for an extended amount of time, I take at least 1 kid with me. It gives me time with 1 child exclusively for some time.

My husband is a wonderful dad but a terrible mother. He doesn't know where anything is or at least he pretends he doesn't. Things that come naturally to me, they never occur to him. Like feeding the children. And changing diapers even if they aren't leaking or stinky. But the kids always survive.

But. Whenever I do manage to go anywhere by myself, I am always greeted with a messy house and lots of whining and sippy cups thrust in my face with "plweeze mommy. I want some." Or "Can I.." Or "Dad wouldn't....". To be fair I do also get greeted with lots of "MOMMY!!!" and hugs and kisses. And that's always fun.

But it makes my wonder. If something (God forbid) was to ever happen to me, how would my husband cope? Besides being beside himself with grief I mean. Would it ever occur to him to go and buy more diapers? Or more milk before breakfast the next morning? Would he know where the fabric softener was? Would he even know how to use it? Would he know that Jarrett doesn't like Jeven using the blue sippy cup? Would he know that the yellow skirt in Josie's drawer is too short for her and she can only wear it to bed? How long would he let the filth and grime pile up before he cleaned?

I tried really hard today to not complain about the shape of the house or the fact that I have a sneaking hunch that hubby spent most of the time in his chair while kids did whatever, thirsty and hungry.

From him, I got the greeting of the silent treatment. And I thought that unfair as I had brought home treats. When I asked him if he was mad, he said he didn't know that I was going to be gone so long. Well, duh!! If I had told him how long I was going to be gone, I would have never gotten away!

But how long until it's not such a big ordeal to get away for awhile, by myself? Whenever I do, it's like I have left motherless children behind. And I have to apologize for being gone at all.