There was a funeral. A moving, sweet service for a wonderful, wise man. A man that I have known since I was 5 yrs. old.
I grew up in a small town. Very small. There were 20 kids in my Senior class. And that was a large class. Many of those students had been together since Kindergarten. Michael was one of those people. When you go through 13 yrs. (13 very important, life shaping years) with the same people, they become part of you. I cannot honestly look back at those years and NOT see him. With his passing, part of me has died as well. It has been hard to understand why he had to die. But, it's not my decision to make and I know he is at peace. And, because of his life, many others have made decisions regarding their own.
There were hundreds of people at his service. Old friends. It was a school reunion of sorts. A bittersweet reunion.
There was an operation. My mom had her shoulder surgery and all went well. She ended up having to have some tendons and bones screwed back together. Now, she's taking it easy and will soon be doing physical therapy.
I was afraid this whole experience would change my mother, in my eyes. She would somehow become sickly and frail. But, she's been strong and courageous. She's been wise in asking for help (which for both her and I, is difficult to do) for things she can't do but yet not needy or feeling sorry for herself. She has been thankful that the surgery fixed the problem and her healing seems to be right on track.
There was illness. It ran through our household like a semi-truck. Everyone was infected and missed out on some fun social happenings. Such is life.
Time marches on.
There was a birthday. Jarrett turned 6! ( I will post his birthday interview soon!). Hard to believe my little preemie 5lb baby is now 6 and becoming more independent each day.
He's becoming SO independent, he'd rather NOT get his picture taken with mom. |
There was a getaway. I am blessed with awesome in-laws. Even though the kids were sick, they had no qualms about taking them for 2 nights so my husband and I could enjoy some grown-up time. Much needed. And, appreciated.
Can't beat this view, from our hotel room. Sigh... |
Judd's favorite part of the weekend. No joke. |
I have wanted to blog, I have not wanted to blog. I would go back and forth between wanting to tell you all these funny things to feeling very superficial and, for lack of a better word, stupid. How can I write about the funny things my kids did when someone has died?
How can I come here and complain about my husband, who hates to go to the coast and was complaining about going, even before we left, when I know of one wife that would love to hear her husband complain.
But, time does march on.
I will enjoy it.
I think that it's important to take a lesson when someone dies.... that is to appreciate the funny things. The superficial. The mundane.
ReplyDeleteBecause when you're gone, the people left behind realize those are really the gifts of life.
I am sorry for your loss. I know that the memory of the fact they're just... gone is something lying in front of you that you trip over unexpectedly, like something you forgot to put away.
I lost a friend two years ago to cancer, and one four years before that, also to cancer. Both were mothers with six children. Both long before it should have been their time to go.
And when I stop and appreciate the gifts I have, I am grateful that losing my friends gave me the gift of being thankful and grateful for what I have. Because I have so much.
Going on with life doesn't mean you don't miss them, or that you've forgotten them.
That last part is exactly how I felt the week that Michael died. I couldn't write. I just couldn't.
ReplyDeleteHis service reminded me of how much he LIVED and didn't hold back. He loved Jesus with all of his heart. He shared his wisdom, his time, and his home. He loved his kids and Nicole. Somehow he made the people in his life want to become better simply by how he was living. He didn't live out of fear because he was too filled with JOY.
After his service I felt so much better. I decided that I can't NOT live because I'm sad and confused. I have to live and appreciate things more. I have to love more deeply and speak more softly. I need to keep my problems small and not take my blessings for granted. I need to not just feel my joy, but live my joy out... and love Jesus with all of my heart, just like Michael did.
I am so sorry for your loss!
ReplyDeleteTime does march on but sometimes it does so painfully and slowly. I am again sorry for your loss. It just takes time to process grief and get back to the normalcy of life. I will however look forward to your posts filled with humor. Soon.
ReplyDeleteI second Ami! Just holding him in your memories keeps part of him with you!
ReplyDeleteOK, I have to ask, Is that the Oscar Mayer Weenie truck??
And, Happy Birthday Jarrett!
I'm so sorry that you lost your friend, and for his family, too. But, I'm glad that your mom is recovering and that you've been able to find some joy and fun in your days. I hope Jarrett had an awesome birthday. We have 2 February birthdays at our house!
ReplyDelete