It will be the first time I've been completely alone for months! (And I guess, technically, I won't be completely alone as the cat will be with me. But I have a feeling he won't be asking me a hundred thousand questions. Nor will he be fighting with his siblings over EVERY.THING!!)
Is it wrong that I enjoy my alone time? That I need alone time?
I made a (suppose to be sarcastic) comment in my last post about how my husband and I may not survive retirement. I then received a comment ( from "anonymous", don't you just love those?) about how doomed my marriage must be. (I paraphrase)
While I take little stock in comments from people that don't know me, my husband nor have the decency to leave their name, it did make me feel guilty.
I do love my husband. A lot. And, just as importantly, if not more importantly, I like him. We have lots of fun together and he is the first person I talk to when anything happens, big or small, in my life. I respect him. Appreciate him. Cherish him.
But, I do not want to spend every second of every day with him. You see, while he is a great many things, one thing he is not is self sufficient. Let's just say, if I was to disappear for longer than 3 days, with no warning, he'd starve and run out of clean underwear. I kid!! Sorta.
He may be able to fix his own food, but he doesn't know what to make or where to find the ingredients. He doesn't know how to do laundry. He doesn't know where I keep the extra bottles of shampoo.
To his credit, he never had to learn. A certain woman (not his mom!) did everything for him before we got married and then, I just took over. Because I wanted to. I still want to. He's never made me. It's just the way our marriage is and 99% of the time, Im happy to be my husband's help meet.
But there is that 1% where I really just want him to leave me alone. Not forever. Just for a few hours.
So,while that comment made me feel guilty for a beat or two, Im still looking forward to my cat getting his "boys" removed tomorrow.
If that's wrong, I don't want to be right.
In reading the comment from 'anonymous', I don't think she meant to be offensive. And of course has only her own experience to draw on.
ReplyDeleteEveryone's partnership is different, and there's not a thing wrong with that. Your idea of sunshine and roses may look like broccoli and snowstorms to me. :) And vice versa, of course.
It's the internet. Easy to say stuff without using your name. Double edged sword, because sometimes people take it a little too far, but it's also quite informative at times. Reading what people really think can be enlightening.
And I get the 'alone time' thing. My son just moved out. My daughter is gone for the summer. I haven't been alone in years... and now I have quite a bit of it.
Today,I got out of the shower wet and naked and dripping water all over hell to get a bar of soap out of the cabinet in the hallway.
And there was no one here.
It was really weird.
:)
Um, I think the sign of a healthy marriage IS the craving of alone time. I love my kids and my husband (as do you) and when we are together I am all in. ALL. IN. And sometimes that's just exhausting. It's one of the many reasons I still run. While races are a family activity for us, the training is all me time.
ReplyDeleteAnd honestly, after work, homework, laundry, "where is my...?", "Can I", "PLEEEEZEEEE!"... most often I pretend I am running AWAY from them.
Our relationship is healthiest when we both take time (individually) to do stuff alone. Without kids. Without spouse. Just by ourselves. We feel refreshed, re-energized, and just all around *healthier*. There is nothing wrong with that.
ReplyDeleteThere's also nothing wrong with looking forward to taking your cat in to have his balls chopped off so you can enjoy some solo time (although I'm sure the cat would beg to differ).
ENJOY!
I think you will survive retirement just fine. I also got that you just meant that as a joke and I am not sure why another would think other wise. If she read all your other post she would know how committed you are to your family. Having a husband at home with 3 or 4 kids is different that having him home when it is just the two of you. I know my routine gets thrown off when my husband is home for more than a couple days. Not bad, just different (more work). :)
ReplyDeleteI also don't think she meant anything bad, but her situation is also different than yours. Are husbands are not the stay at home and help with house chores kind of guys. I feel ya. I love my alone time. Summer seems a bit harder to get that.