Thursday, August 15, 2013

Summer Lackage

This summer has really, for a lack of a better word, well, lacked.

I know you would think since I haven't written in awhile, it must be because I'm off doing really awesome things.
I haven't been.

Let's see...........

My husband is still constantly looking for another job. One that pays ALL the bills and maybe would give us some breathing room. Or even one that has potential for promotions. The one he has now, he has topped out unless we want to move out of state for management position. And have him work 70+ hours a week. Which we do not want.
Anyways, he actually had an interview last week and it sounded very promising. The man even went as far as to tell my husband that he would send us an employee benefit package. 
A week later, we still haven't gotten it. My husband called and was told the position had already been filled. (And, not by my husband, incase you needed further explanation.)
It's all very discouraging.

The abusive resident is still at my work. We have been told no fewer than THREE times that if she was not out by three different dates, the police would be called. It has not happened and I've given up hope that it ever will. Seems assisted living facilities, among many other facilities, are motivated by one thing--money. Don't even get me started on that whole issue. (more money=better care for seniors/children???)

We did manage to go to the coast two different days, as a family. I've arranged numerous playdates and sleepovers for the kids. I've done, what I consider, a heartfelt attempt at making things fun for my kids.
And how do they repay me?
By fighting non-stop and complaining.  Yes, I know. Kids fight. They complain. They are ungrateful. I get that. And while I resolve, everyday, to do a better job parenting so that I will have grateful kids that show love and respect towards their siblings, and others, I am also a realist. And I remember how I treated my brother, whom I love and respect very much. It wasn't pretty. Or kind.

But, my whole point here, when confronted and asked why such behavior is constantly happening, my kids respond with, "I just don't like you working."

At first, it was huge guilt overload. But, I've been working a year now. And, while it has been an adjustment, it has been very livable and has afforded us opportunities we wouldn't get if I didn't work (coast trips, to name one!).

Finally, after one horrible day of yelling and crying, I sat the kids down and said my working would no longer be an excuse to act disrespectful and I would no longer try to compensate by letting them get away with everything. I explained trying to make me feel guilty would no longer work!! I could see Josie, who is the HUGEST instigator in the "Let's make mom feel guilty" exploitations, admit defeat and her and I made eye contact and she was feeling me. 

Since then, things have been better. But, I will be honest. I'm looking forward to summer being over. We are in need of some more structure, some routine. Even our eating habits have been out of whack. And while I could try to redirect some of the routines and diets, I just feel like the end of summer will be the start of some many things. Good things.

I know that my last few (okay, you caught me, ONE) posts have been pretty much "my life is hard" theme, I am working on getting some pictures posted and some more lighthearted posts. (I saw that Karey!!!  You just rolled your eyes, didn't you?Because you're thinking "I've heard THAT before?" AmIright???)

Who knows? Maybe the end of summer will mean me posting more. Anything is possible!


  1. For the record, I did not roll my eyes (much), I totally get you. I'm absolutely feeling the life-is-hard theme right about now, too, and it completely SUCKS (sometimes I feel like such a fake because I'm all emotional {read: woman} but posting funny/lighthearted/upbeat crap on FB and the blog) but sometimes we just have to suck it up {amIright?} because we're the Moms and it's just what we do.

    Okay, but seriously, I'm feeling ya. I'm excited for school to start as well (don't tell my kids that) so that I can go to town and mindlessly wander the isles of Target and look at all the stuff we can't afford, but appreciate that I only have to drag one kid around (wow - I'm so not winning parent of the year) and I'm not expected to buy a slushy just because we walked through the parking lot with no fighting.

    It's LIFE. It's HARD - most of the time! But (by the grace of God) we're going to get through it (dog-gonnit!! :) Hang in there, Mama! {School's almost in session!}

  2. Honey, I am Counting. Down. The. Days.

    I am sad that my kids don't get the summer that I did as a kid... Mom home, no structure, carefree days of playing with my friends... but Hello? My kids NEED routine, structure, and to be busy with such things. Camp is good for them. This month, to save money, I've only scheduled them for camp 3 days a week, and I'm taking an additional day off each week... None of us know what day it is any more.

    If I listen really close, I think I can hear the bus coming...


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