Thursday, September 26, 2013

Walking After Midnight

Sleepwalking is not like it is depicted in the movies. Arms out, chanting, roaming the streets. Wait. Maybe that's zombies. Which is all the rage these days, much to my disgust.

Anyways....sleepwalking can be quite funny, if done correctly and safely. 

My brother did it often. Once, we all (dad,mom and myself) watched my brother, perhaps he was 8, go down the front steps and climb into my father's big Ford pick up and pretend to drive. All while sound asleep. We lived out in the country and after witnessing this latest trick, my parents started to roll the portable dishwasher in front of the front door so he wouldn't roam off into the wilderness at night. 
My mother also worried some when Luke was in the Navy and out to sea. A Navy ship is not something you want to sleepwalk off of. 

I have done a few episodes myself. During the summer after high school graduation, I worked all day and hung out with my friends until the wee hours of the morning. I would often times wake up shortly after going to bed and be so confused that I would think I was late for work. Therefore, I would frantically try to find my clothes, do my hair and be completely dressed for work only to realize it was 5am and not 10am. Then, I'd go back to bed. Still dressed for work.

Shortly after my husband and I were married, I awoke in the middle of the night to see a man standing at the foot of our bed. I can, to this day, tell you what he was wearing and what he looked like. I woke up my husband and told him about the man in our room. He quickly turned on the light to find...nobody. I calmly went back to sleep. My poor husband, however, laid there, heart pounding and very alert, for a very long time.

To this day, when I get extremely tired or stressed, I do these weird things in my sleep. And, I can totally remember them the next day. The what I did and also,the reason why I did them. The episodes mainly revolve around work and thinking I am there instead of home, in my bed. I have roamed the house, looking for the time clock. I have tried to communicate with co-workers on my walkie talkie. My husband has gotten used to it and just rolls over and goes back to sleep. And, makes fun of me in the morning.

Just recently, while my oldest son and his friend were staying up all night, playing video games in the living room, I got up, went into the kitchen and opened a bag of Cheetos and proceeded to munch away. My son recognized my actions as my sleepwalking fun-time and calmly took the snack away and told me to go back to bed. His best friend thought it was hilarious and went home and told the story to his mother who also happens to be our Pastor's wife. Now, at any church picnic or function, if there are cheese puffs, she teases me horribly. 

Hey, you don't have to be completely asleep to enjoy Cheetos, am I right?

 My children have inherited their mother's habits. When Josie sleepwalks, she is looking for the restroom. She has pee'd on a kitchen chair, in the living room and once in the bathroom sink. Unlike her mother, she remembers nothing the next day.

My absolute favorite sleepwalking story involves my oldest son. It was this past summer, around the 4th of July.

He told me the story the morning after he did it as he DOES remember after he sleepwalks.
He was dreaming of lighting firecrackers and smoke bombs, in his bedroom. He would light the fuse, throw the bomb under his brother's bunkbeds. In reality, he was throwing his various blankets and pillows onto the floor.
One firecracker, in his dream, was HUGE. He just knew it was going to be dangerous but he lit it anyways and immediately regretted it. He knew there was no time to save everyone, so he saved himself.
He ran down the hallway, and crouched down in the corner, by the garage door, in the kitchen and plugged his ears. He felt horrible that he wasn't able to alert anyone else in the house about the impending explosion. He waited and waited and waited. But, nothing exploded. With a sigh of relief, he went back to bed.
And awoke the next morning with no pillows or blankets on his bed.

I couldn't believe that he went through that turmoil and we all slept peacefully in our beds. And, I still laugh today, picturing him crouched in the kitchen, with his fingers in his ears with a look of panic on his face.  
And, I try not to be concerned that he thought it was normal to light firecrackers in his bedroom.


  1. Hahaha! Poor guy! That's hilarious.

    I don't sleep walk, but I do talk in my sleep. Zach and I used to talk to each other acutally (both asleep). I remember one time him saying to me, "Get the bazookas! The elephants are coming!!!"

    The only time I "sleep walked" was when he thought it would be funny to change my alarm after I was asleep so that I'd wake up at 3am (the clock read 6am) and get up out of bed, go shower and get completely ready for school. My parents did not find this near as funny as my little brother did (nor did I) but we all laugh about it today.

    I love that you guys remember what you were dreaming about. Makes for hilarious material later in life! :)

  2. When I was about 8 my mother found me trying to nail the kitchen chairs to the wall because of the "flood" in the kitchen. Thankfully, she got the hammer from me and since I did not have any actual nails, no walls were harmed.

    I have been found in the closet of the bedroom saying beep. beep. beep. shit. beep. while I was inventorying my shoes in my sleep. It was then that I knew I needed to quit my job as an operations manager (inventory time was very stressful)

    Now a days I only sleepwalk when I am EXTREMELY stressed. Both boys have night terrors though.... now THAT is scary.


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