Recently, it hasn't even been a week yet, a dear friend's brother died in a horrible motorcycle accident. While home from Iraq. He wasn't in the military but still. You'd think being home would be safe.
We are close enough to this person to want to help. In anyway possible.
The things is, what does that mean? What does one do to help in a situation like this?
I've taken food to them. I've offered to take their kids for them, to give them some time.
The family is large and they are all together, mourning their loss.
In my mind, there's a fine line between being caring and helpful and being annoying and intrusive.
I am not one of those people that wants lots of hugs and pity, when something horrible happens. On the other hand, I don't like it when a situation is ignored either.
In 2000, I suffered a miscarriage at 12 weeks. Many people were kind and loving and helpful. Others didn't even say "I'm sorry" or anything. To me, ignoring a bad situation is hurtful. Yet, saying something stupid (like "God just wanted your baby in Heaven (HELLO!! I wanted my baby too!!)) is just as hurtful.
I learned from my particular experience, it's better to say "I'm sorry. I don't know what to say" than to say nothing at all.
So, that's what we've been doing. A lot of praying, a lot of "Let me know if there's anything we can do" and a lot of "We love you guys."
It's just so awful that there's nothing else we can do.