Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Booger Walls and Sticky Uni-brows

Been a while. I know. I can't even believe we are looking at the back end of October. You know what's just around the corner, don't you? Don't say it though as I'm hoping my kids won't notice. Of course, seeing as how the retail stores have had Christmas decorations out for 6 weeks, I think they might be getting a clue.

I've been working alot. Too much.  Turns out, when you show up on time, do your job and people like you, they want you to do it more.  I cannot believe the amount of no-shows and call-ins that happen.  Why do people get a job if they have no intention of ever doing it?

When I'm not working, I'm doing the regular stuff-- playing SongPop on Facebook homeschooling, housework, parenting my kids, constantly vacuuming after the dog, etc..
I think the most challenging thing about me working, is feeling guilty for not being here and trying to make up for it in the most ridiculous ways.  "Oh, you want cookies for breakfast? Well, since I wasn't here to tuck you in last night, that sounds fair."  "You are hitting your brother? You shouldn't do that but since I wasn't here to get you off the bus 4 days ago, have a cookie." And the fact that they are store bought cookies, seems to make it worse.

But, I'm still trying to stick to my rules and regulations that have been around here for forever. The jar thing is still working quite well. Candy is a good motivator. And so are cookies.

However, there is one child we have had some challenges with. Jarrett (7) takes no responsibility for his actions and is quick to blame anyone else in the house. His sister/brothers/dog/cat/fish/next door neighbor is the one that is in the wrong, not him.
For instance, he has a blanket he sleeps with every night,since he was a baby. He likes to wrap it around himself in the morning until he gets dressed. At that time, it gets thrown on the floor where the dog sleeps on it and I feel like I have to wash it before Jarrett can snuggle with it again. Sometimes, I wash it more than once a day.  I have reminded him numerous times that he needs to put it on his bed when he is done with it. It finally came to the point that I told him I would take it from him if I found it on the floor again.
Sunday morning, I found it on the floor,as we were heading out the door for church. I quickly grabbed it and stashed it away.
As we came home and everyone was changing out of their church clothes, Jarrett was looking for his blanket.  Couldn't find it anywhere.  I just gave him a "I told you so I'm the mother I'm always right" look and he knew. And the excuses came quickly "I didn't do it! I didn't leave it out! I put it away".  I pointed out that I certainly did find it on the floor and it was highly unlikely that someone went and got it off his bed and brought it out to the living room. I also pointed out that when you do something wrong, accept responsibility for it, apologize and promise not to do it again. Jarrett was having none of my reasoning and calmness. He decided to throw a fit and stomped off to his room. I followed and we laid down together, on his bed, the bottom bunk, and we talked about taking responsibility and staying calm and so on. As we are having this tender mother-son moment, I notice the boogers smeared on the wall. Yup. 
"Jarrett!!! Are you picking your nose and putting the boogers on your wall?!"
"No, it's not me!!"
"Seriously? What did we JUST talk about? You mean, someone else is picking their nose, and climbing down here just to smear their boogers on your wall?"
"Fine. We shall see"
Off I march to the living room where I present the following:  "Those of you that have EVER picked your nose and wiped the boogers on the wall right where Jarrett sleeps, raise your hand."

At first, no hands go up. Then, slowly, slowly, Jeven's (6) hand goes up and he says, not sheepishly I might add, "Yeah. I've done that a few times."

I quickly look for assistance to my partner in this crazy gig we call parenting to find him having a mild stroke from laughing so hard.

From the bedroom, I hear "Told you so!!!" 
So, Jarrett is still working on being accountable for his actions but..he is quick to point out that it is highly possible someone else did do it.

Jeven tried something a little different the other night, that in no way could be blamed on anyone but himself.

We came home from church Wed. evening and he quickly ran into the house saying "I'm using the bathroom, nobody come in!!!" which is actually odd as we are a family of six, with one toilet. Chances of anyone getting to use the bathroom exclusively are rare. But, I was busy getting chocolate out of the freezer the other kids ready for bed. I noticed Jeven standing by my side, crying. (When Jeven cries, there is no sound, just HUGE tears) I ask "What is wrong??"  I notice he has his arm over his face. I take his arm down to see something on his face, on his eyebrows to be exact. 

It is gum.

He wanted to see what he looked like with a unibrow.  
With his gum. In his eyebrows. 

I quickly march him to his father, who I'm sure is to be blamed, somehow. (I wonder where Jarrett gets it?)
Once again, I am disappointed by my man's lack of ability to keep a straight face whenever our kids do something odd.

There have been many of times we've had to get gum out of hair. We use peanut butter. So, I smother Jeven's eyebrows with a hefty dose of Jif.  Which happens to be a certain dog's favorite treat. 

Once Luther had licked Jeven's eyebrows clean, we noticed that the gum was still there.

I had to use tweezers to get the gum out. Of my child's eyebrows. 
Now, he has the furthest thing from a uni-brow as he is a tad off centered with his eyebrows. One is quite a bit....less than the other. 

If you are still with me, at the end of this long post, I will be amazed.  It's a long one but things like booger walls and sticky uni-brows, they just gotta be discussed.  ( :


  1. Well that answers the question 'how are things going?'

    Wow. I'm smiling, though, and that's a good thing.I could use some smiles today.

  2. I promise this is true:

    Jeff and I are sitting on the bed (right now). He's watching The Avengers and I'm (pretending to be interested...oh, wait - no) sitting on the computer catching up on posts. I read this one and say, "You have GOT to pause it so I can read this to you." He looks at me (giving me "the look") and pauses it (in a this-better-be-good way). I read him the part about the boogers on the wall and both the boys... We are both laughing so hard we have tears running down our cheeks. Ikidyounot. THANK YOU for the laugh - that was HYSTERICAL!

    1. Well, you would have fit right in with my husband. He was laughing SO hard, I've never seen anything like it. Jeven will probably keep wiping his boogers on his brother's wall just to see if Dad will laugh like that again.


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