Friday, April 17, 2009

DMV Horror

My driver's license expired on my birthday--over a month ago. I went to the DMV the day BEFORE my birthday with what I thought was all the correct paper work.

I didn't have my birth certificate. I KNOW! I always carry a 34yr. old piece of paper with my tiny footprints on it but I just forgot that day. Yeah, right.

So, the witchy nice lady behind the counter fills out this bright yellow piece of paper with my name, license number and date of birth. I sign it. This is now my new driver's license until I can prove that I was born in this state. I guess my PREVIOUS driver's license doesn't prove that?

I phone my mother and ask if she has my birth certificate. She thinks it's in the safe deposit box. In another town. About 45 min. away.

I happened to have a play date scheduled in that town for the following week.
I go and find my birth certificate. (which by the way was at the bottom of the box while my brother's was on the very top. Go figure)

This was all about 3 weeks ago. I have been using my bright yellow, lovely "fake" license as ID ever since. I have never been asked to show my ID more in my life!! It seems every time I used my debit card, I was asked to show my ID. And of course, I'd have to explain the whole situation lest the cashier thinks I have my license suspended for drunk driving or something. And, after each explanation (that I didn't have my birth certificate so I couldn't get my license renewed) I would be regarded with much pity.

We are going out of state next week. So, I thought it might be wise to go back into the DMV and get my new license. I happened to be out of the house with no children yesterday morning so thought it would be a perfect time.

I get a number and sit and wait. And wait. And wait. Normal at the DMV right?

My number gets called. I hand over all the paper work. To be told that the birth certificate isn't the STATE ISSUED BIRTH CERTIFICATE. The one with the cute little feet? And hospital stamp? Not good enough to prove I'm a legal resident.

I thought I was lucky to get the birth certificate that I got. Who on earth has their state issued birth certificate?

And how does one get their state issued birth certificate? By ordering it from the state of course. For $20. And a 5 week wait.

So. I have to pay $20 to the STATE to get a copy of my birth certificate. So I can pay the STATE $39 to get a driver's license. This seems stupidly crazy to me!

I questioned the DMV cashier about proof of my name change from maiden name to married name. My maiden name is the one still on my SS card. Her response?

"Oh, we can just use the info off of your old license."

I just stared at her. I think the irony of her statement was lost on her.
I did question why my old license wasn't proof of my birth. In a polite, politically correct response she informed me that because there are so many illegal aliens getting license's without proof of citizenship, this is their new policy.

Well, I think this new policy sucks.

So for now, I have no identity.

But those little feet on that birth certificate? Very cute.


  1. If you want to get your birth certificate sooner you can go to and get it much quicker. That's nuts though about all the waiting and paying the STATE everything. Hang in there.

  2. Yes, I could get it sooner but it goes up in price and I figure the state is already getting enough of our hard earned money!

  3. Seriously? I have never had to show my birth certificate except the very first time i EVER got my license! Even when i had to get my WYO license, I had to show a utility bill and my old license! That's crazy! I have your brother's real birth cert, and mine and julia's. Not trent's, never ordered it! Sucks that you had SOOO much trouble. Hope all your midgets are well. Trent is telling me all about the bug he just killed in the kitchen. yeah! i'm no longer the sole bug killer! And yes, ewwwwww. But he is so handsome. You have to admit your baby brother grew up pretty nicely! I'll get pictures soon, the snow just melted and nothing is blooming yet so I am procrastinating!


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