Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Respect

*This post is sensitive.  I'm laying a lot on here.  I am pretty sure the people that "inspired" this post do not read my blog.  If, however, you recognize yourself or you think you know whom I am referring to, please keep it to yourself. Or, email me and I'll tell you if you're right! I would hate to have to make my page private because my personal thoughts get thrown in my face.  I write a lot of stuff about the silly things my kids do.  But, sometimes, I feel the need to write deeper things.  This is one of those times.*
 
 
 
We are not a typical family.  By most people's standards, anyway. 

We go to church. In fact, most things come second to church.  Sports.  Social events. Various errands.
We will not miss church to do any of those things.  We have actually taken our children out of a sport because practices and/or games interfered with church.
(We are not, however, those weird "cult" like people that walk around in a trance saying "God Bless You" to everyone they meet.  Just clarifying)

We limit what our kids are exposed to.  What they watch on t.v. What music they listen to. Even what stores they are allowed to go in to. Who they are alone with.  Even what toys they are allowed to have.  
(We are not,however, those weird "organic fiber, only learning toys allowed" like people that their kids grow up to be weird.  Just clarifying.)

Our marriage is unique as well.  As much crud as I give my husband, in reality, he's the boss and the head of our home.  I do submit to him.  It's not always easy, but I do.  Luckily, he makes good decisions and 90% of the time, we make decisions together.  There's not much I really have to "submit" to.  
(We are not, however, those weird "Yes, Master" type people where the wife is scared to sneeze.  Just clarifying.)

I guess what I'm getting at is this:  We do things different but we're not extreme.  We have our reasons. 

All I ask is you respect it.  Don't have to agree with it.  I'm not asking you to change how you live or even change how you think.  

But, please don't do your little "jabs" and comments about how you think my kids should be put back in public school (because YOUR kids turned out so well??) or that we should just go ahead and let our 7 yr. old watch that show because everyone else does it (Seriously, at your age,  shouldn't you be able to resist peer pressure?) or question why we don't spend $50 on a pair of shoes for my 4 yr. old.  

I realize it's hard to see someone living differently.  Especially when it works.  It's easy to point fingers and make harsh comments when their life is chaos.  But, I imagine when you see a happy marriage and well adjusted, respectful and intelligent children, it's hard to realize it's because we've done things differently than you.  It doesn't make us right and you wrong.  It just IS.  

Respect means acceptance.  Just accept us and move on.  
I know I have.

9 comments:

  1. Very well-written! That's how our life is, too with the same standards, etc. We have people that criticize us all the time. We just put those comments aside and try to move on. It's hard though. But in the end it will all be worth it and I think you know what I am talking about!

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  2. Not sure what happened. Don't even need to know. :)

    You have the right to raise your children the way that you and your husband see fit. And you have the right to submit to your husband, if that's your belief. And you shouldn't have to explain or feel self conscious for any of it.

    That being said, I understand exactly how you feel, because we have raised our kids the same way, and we have been criticized, and ultimately, we don't care. I also submit to my husband. However, I can't remember the last time we disagreed on anything big, because we respect one another and both have input on decisions. And there's nothing wrong with that.

    You did a great job on your post and your positions. Just clarifying. ;o)

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  3. Oh, Sweetie, I've felt like this before. Whoever, whatever.... You have to do what's right for you and your family!!

    Big hugs!!

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  4. I can't understand why anyone feels they have the right to make 'suggestions' for you and for your family based upon how they live their own lives.

    I can tell that you're not the type to make obscene gestures or suggest things that, while colorful, are probably anatomically impossible anyway.

    Send 'em on to me, will you?

    And hang in there. Your life-your decisions.
    You might even say that sometime.

    As in, "Oh really? How interesting! But since it's MY life it's MY decision. You need to get out more!!"

    Then smile.

    Make the obscene gesture if you feel like it.

    :)

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  5. ok I get all of that!! However if you are not going to have "all" organic fiber toys then that is just a deal breaker!! I know your family, but we have to draw a line somewhere!!
    :)

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  6. Ricki, I've BEEN to your house--who do you think you're foolin'? ( ;

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  7. All I can say is AMEN!!! I can so relate.... great post... thank you for saying it aloud!! =)

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  8. I'm sorry someone is judging you. I'm glad you stuck up for yourself. I think you are living a great example and I only wish I could be more disciplined like your family is!

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  9. I'm catching up on my blogs, and normally I don't comment on older posts, but I had to on this one. Thank you for posting this. Most of the time, I feel as though I am the only one who tries to be a Biblical wife and submit to her husband. It seems like "Wives, obey your husbands" has completely disappeared. Thanks for reminding me that I'm not alone, and I haven't misunderstood God's plan for families.

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