Friday, March 12, 2010


I seriously do want my children to grow up and have the proper respect for authority. I pray they never have to have a bad run in with a policeman.

I KNOW one shouldn't joke about calling the police.  But sometimes, just sometimes, I can be inappropriate, m'kay?

Jeven has taken to hiding Daddy's Ipod.  For Christmas, we splurged for the first time in 10 yrs. and got each other something.  Judd got his Ipod, I got my Dsi.  So, to say that the Ipod is special is kind of an understatement. 

When confronted last night about the missing Ipod, Jeven says "But I don't have one!  And, I never get to play with it".  When questioned further about the whereabouts of the Ipod, he played mute.  But, we knew.  He had hidden it. Somewhere.

Today, I kept looking and looking.  All the while asking Jeven where he'd hidden it.  All the while, he still denied hiding it.  It was a "round and round" conversation.

Finally, I decided to call Judd at work to see if he'd found it and just forgotten to tell me. 

Jeven:  Who are you calling?
Me: The police.
Jeven:  WHY?????
Me:  To tell them you hid Daddy's Ipod.  They will come over here and make you find it.
Jeven:  WHAT?????? NO!!!!

Off Jeven runs. 
Meanwhile, I ask to speak to my husband who happens to be on lunch.  I ask that he be told to call home when he returns. 

As I'm hanging up the phone:
Jeven:  I found it!!
Me: Where was it?
Jeven: In my room. In my closet.  Behind my Lego boxes.  Under the rug. 
Me:  Hmmm??? Wonder how it got there?  (giving the Mother Evil Eye)  Well, the police are going to call back, when they do, you can talk to them and promise you will never, ever touch Mommy and Daddy's things again. M'kay?
Jeven:  Yeah....

Judd calls back, I explain that I had told Jeven the police were calling back and what Jeven was suppose to say.

Now, I was, honest to God, thinking Judd would let Jeven say his thing then speak, letting Jeven know that he was talking to his father, and not the police. 

Jeven:  (holding back tears) I promise
Jeven:  ( now sobbing) to never. ever. touch. Mommy. or Daddy's. things. again. I promise.
Judd (in scary, evil man voice):  Well, little boy, you should not touch things that aren't yours.
Jeven:  (more sobbing and weeping and snot) Ok. I won't
Me: JUDD!!! Please talk in a normal voice so your child knows it's you!!
Judd:  Jeven, it's Daddy! 
Jeven:  (way too upset to even think coherently)  *sob, sob, sob*
Judd: Jeven!!
Jeven:  Daddy?  You not the police!!!!
Judd: No, but you still have to promise not to touch our things.  Ok?
Jeven:  Ok.

Oh. My. Goodness.  My kids are going to be so messed up!

Here is another post, in which I wrongly threaten the authorities on my children.


  1. Frankly, I think that was a brilliant solution! One-time use, probably, and maybe slightly traumatic, but I bet he'll never touch the iPod again. :)

  2. That's hilarious! I *might* have to use that one sometime... Oh, now I can't wait for my kids to lie, steal, or cheat!... Wait, what am I saying!?! ;)

  3. You mean I don't have to hide that I have done that twice since Curtis was born regarding different incidents? Thanks! Now I feel better. ;-)


  4. When our oldest was about 6, we went into a big craft store. When we got out to the car, we noticed she had a small bouquet of flower heads. When asked, she said she picked them up off the floor and assumed they were garbage. We had to explain that sometimes the stores don't actually throw them away, and that she needed to take them back and apologize. That if she kept them, it could be considered shoplifting, and police arrest shoplifters. While I wouldn't say she was traumatized, she definitely learned her lesson.

    Parenting isn't always easy, that's for sure.


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