I never planned on being a Stay At Home Mom (SAHM) . I always planned on having kids but I was also going to have a career.
When I was in Jr. High, I was going to study Marine Biology and work at Sea World.
But, then I grew up (a tad) and realized I would not enjoy being on a deserted island somewhere studying the mating habits of nudibranchs. (which have both male and female reproductive parts but cannot fertilize themselves. You're welcome. )
So, I decided I would become a science teacher and was taking schooling for that purpose. Then, I met a boy and we fell in love and got pregnant. And, suddenly, all I wanted to do was stay home. And have more babies. Which I have done and have been extremely happy. And, honestly, I have NO regrets about it. None.
I cannot tell you how many times I have been in a social setting, talking, getting to know new people, and I will be asked "What do you do? For work?" and I will respond "Oh, I don't work. I stay home with the kids."
I have gotten many different responses. I either get "Oh. How nice. I wish I could afford to stay home." ( Yeah. I'm extra wealthy that way.) Or, I get a slight head nod and never see the person again because they are afraid my boringness is contagious. (Wait until they find out I homeschool as well!)
Or, I get my least favorite response: "Honey, that is WORK!! That is the hardest job EVER! I bet you are BUSY!! I don't know HOW you do it!". (Yup.Busy, busy, busy, that's me!!) And, I am. That's not a lie. And, while I appreciate the acknowledgement that my being home with my kids, raising them, is a very hard,thankless job, I don't think it's the hardest job "ever".
I get to be with my kids! I get to set my own hours, I'm my own boss!!
Does this mean that it's all rainbows and glitter, every day? Of course not!! If you know me at all, you know my rainbow is slightly disfigured and my glitter consists of shredded up toilet paper.
I have often looked at my friends/family that are Work Outside Of The Home Moms and wondered how do they do it? How does one balance work and taking care of the home and making sure the kids get enough attention and how do they find time for their spouse?
It certainly depends on the spouse. Is the spouse willing to do some housework? Cook dinner? Will the spouse recognize he is needed to pitch in, even after he himself has worked all day?
It is a lifestyle that has never appealed to myself or my husband. My husband is not one to do housework or cook. Or carpool. And, it's worked for us for 14 years. For the most part, because certainly there are days I wished he was one to do more housework and such.
Now, having said all that....do you know how much kids cost? A lot. Do you know how much a mortgage is? A lot. Do you know how horrible it is to be poor? Very.
Money, or the lack of, is a huge source of stress. For me. For my husband. For our marriage. We are almost 40 and have nothing saved. Nothing for an emergency. Not very smart!!
We decided that I would look for a job. But, not just any job. A job that I could work part-time and that I would enjoy. A job that would work with our schedule, allowing at least one of us to be home, most of the time, with the kids. Perhaps allowing Jayce to babysit and earn some money of his own (you know, to help purchase the expensive shoes he always seems to "need").
Like I said, I have not "worked" for quite some time. There's not much to put on a resume. Or job application. But, nonetheless, I have been filling them out for 6 months. And have not received a single response. None. Not even from fast food restaurants.
Until I happened to mention, while volunteering at the assisted living home a mile from my house, that I was looking for part-time work to just the right person.
Soon, I was in a job interview! And, soon, I was being told that no shift existed for the hours I wanted to work. Soon, I was telling myself "At least you got an interview this time!". Soon, I was receiving a call saying they invented a shift just for me! Soon, I was working!!!
I have a job!!
We are still in a state of adjustment here at chez BoringHomer. But, I think once I am done training and things are a little more predictable, it will be great!!!
My "normal" hours are 4pm-8pm, 3 or 4 days a week. Very part time. Jayce stays with the kids until Judd gets home, approx. 2 hours, and I'm home before bedtime.
And? One of the best parts: I love it! I love the job, I love being out of the house, I love coming home, I love making new friends.
I won't go into details of what exactly I do, at work. I will just say it involves old people that are sometimes naked. I know, you are jealous.
Like I said, it's not all perfect rainbows and glitter. This is a HUGE life change for us and first and foremost, my family will always come first. But, I am feeling less stress knowing that I am helping bring home the bacon (or at least some bacon bits, because the amount of hours I work, times the pay, does not equal alot of bacon).
It may not be a huge deal to all of you that have been working or, never plan to work , but it is a huge deal for us.
And, worst case scenario, I will have GREAT stories to tell!