Wednesday, March 11, 2009

I'm a Shmuck.

I am lucky. I love my in-laws and they love me. My husband's parents are divorced so I actually have two mother-in-laws (I know!) and I love them both. When we have a birthday party, everyone comes. There's no separate party for the exes or sides. My parents come, Judd's mom and dad and spouses come with their children. It's all one BIG happy family.
It wasn't always this way. When Jayce was younger, I did do the separate parties. More out of fear than anything. Then finally, some one pointed out how much work it was and that it was stupid. If grown people couldn't get along for a couple hours, a few times a year, then they could just stay home and miss out. Smart of me them.

The only "fly in this ointment of family harmony" would be my husband's grandmother. His dad's mom. She holds just a football field size grain of sand size piece of resentment towards her son's exwife. Nothing "Jerry Springer-ish",it doesn't draw much attention unless you are looking for it.

In fact, Grandma is more of my "mother in law" figure than my actual mother in laws. If my house is trashed and a MIL stops by, no biggie. But if it's Grandma, I freak. Only because I feel like Grandma is judging me more than my MIL would.
The judging is part of the problem, the other part is in my husband's eyes, his grandparents can do no wrong. And to be honest, mostly, they don't do any wrong. They have helped us out many times. They love my kids. Unconditionally. How many kids can say, these days, that they got to go fishing with their great grandfather?

But, what Grandma or Grandpa says, goes. According to my husband.
We may have plans but Grandpa calls and wants Judd to spend the day doing something with him, I can kiss my husband goodbye.
If I am cooking something, it's not unheard of (it should be) for my husband to say "My Grandma cooks it like .." (then usually the food item gets thrown across the room).
In our wedding, Grandpa was my husband's best man.

Judd and his Grandparents are very. very close.

Which brings me to yesterday.

My husband came home sick Monday afternoon. His Grandma happened to call and found out. Monday evening, alone, there were 3 phone calls to check on him.
Tuesday, Judd stayed home sick. I think before 3 p.m. there were at least 2 other calls to check on my dying husband.
Apparently, he was dying from the same virus that I had. The virus that kicked my butt but I was still able to take care of 4 children and make meals and basically function because I had to.

I just didn't know he was dying until his Grandparents became so concerned. (picutre me rolling my eyes at this point).

Finally, about 4:30 Grandpa called and asked how Judd was doing and said he was coming over. And also asked if we had dinner. Which, at 4:30 in the afternoon, I know it's a long shot that we hadn't eaten but, Judd told him no we had not.

I lost it. I threw a royal fit.
"Why do they need to come over? To check and make sure I am taking care of you? Are they bringing the kids a bunch of junk? Right before dinner? How come when I am sick, no one cares but when you get sick, the world has to stop? Why can't they mind their own business?"
So on and so on.

Then Grandpa shows up.

With pizza.

Which he hands to me.

And says "We didn't want you to have to worry about making dinner".

Call me shmuck. Nice to meet you.


  1. lol...When my hubby gets sick, I whine about planning the funeral!

  2. Wow! I do have to say, we have been married 14 years and he never ever has complained once of being sick. He gets up and goes to work sick. I have to hold him back to rest. If he says he hurts it has to be a really big hurt because he never mentions it until it's at its worst. I feel for you. How do you deal with it? We are human and we get upset. Don't beat yourself up too much.

  3. Don't give yourself a hard time. Family can be hard sometimes. Joe's mom is difficult to be around, and luckily for me I only have to see her once a year. I couldn't imagine being in your shoes and having to see the people who irritate me more often.


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