Wednesday, September 30, 2009

My Score: F-

Thanks to those of you that left uplifting and supportive comments. Long and short of it: I was having a crappy day! Shortly after I posted this, I told the kids to put the school books away, put in a movie, play with your Barbies, do whatever you want to be happy! After all, that's one of the things I was looking forward to with home schooling--me being in control of how my kids spend the day.
As far as the other things, I didn't win the lottery or lose those pounds but.... life is good....

Right now, if I was to be graded in life, that's what my score would be.

The kids have been fighting constantly. With each other and with me as well.
Homeschooling was going great up until the last couple days. I am finding myself resenting the time that it takes. It's hard not to think about what I could be doing if my children were at public school for 6 hours of the day. Yes, I still feel like we made the right decision but when your 5th grader is in tears because he needs help with his History but you're too busy with the 1st grader and toddlers, who are screaming and hitting each other AGAIN, it's hard not be frustrated.

I hate how I look. I hate that my hair is so thin. And my face is so fat. And the rest of me too. I hate that I can't diet for a week and have it all melt off, I hate that it has to be so hard! I think back to when I was in high school and thought my body was horrible. Now? Now, I would trade in a heart beat.

I am tired of never having any money. It's a constant battle of picking and choosing which bills to pay, how much can we get by with as far as grocery money.
My husband works extremely hard and hates his job. I wish I could be more supportive and encourage him to go ahead and quit and find something else. But these days, we're lucky he has a job to hate.

All these things are making me feel like a failure. And,the troubling part is, that I could do things, small things to change. But I don't do them! And I'm not sure why.

I can't end this post on such a negative.
So, some positive:

  • with all his struggles, Jayce scored a 91% on his Unit History Assessment!
  • Josie got baptized on Sunday!
  • Jarrett's preschool teacher told me she loves having him in her class! I suspect she says that to all the parents, but right now, I'll take it.
Well, that's it for now. I'm off to see if I can score extra credit and bring my F- up to at least a C.


  1. You might want to think about doing a Rant and Rave Wednesday post. I'm sorry I'm no help but you made my week by emailing me on Monday and I blogged about it as a Rave.
    I have these same feeling about myself. I hope you feel better tomorrow!

    Big hugs!!

  2. Bumps in the road are not failures. They're simply obstacles.

    We all have those feelings, I think. My hubby hates his job, too, and we're grateful he has one to hate as well.

    When Lyssa was small and Matt was still doing school-at-home I took her to a sitter who lived two doors down for 2 hours twice a week. It was a wonderful sanity saver.

    I understand about the money, too. Always too much month at the end of the money. You have all the time in the world to make money later... your kids are only kids now.

    Hang in there. Email me if you want.

  3. I hear you on all those things! Homeschooling will get easier in time. Be easy on yourself! You are not an F parent! We have the same money issues, too! Speed bumps do not mean you are a failure. That latter news is awesome! Nothing like seeing your children get saved then baptized! Hang in there!


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