An Attempt

I like to sleep. Seriously. It is my favorite hobby.

Unfortunately, I sleep better during the day than I do at night. If I take a nap in the afternoon, I feel like I could sleep for hours. And I sleep hard. The phone rings, neighbors knock on the door, kids need snacks and I just snooze. It's quite pitiful really.

But, at night. I wake up at least 3 times. Sometimes I am lucky enough to go right back to sleep but most times, I get up and use the bathroom, check on the kids, get a drink, etc. I never wake up feeling like I've slept.

Since my night time slumber is lacking, my mornings are pretty slowed paced. Well, that' not exactly the right word. The pace is fast--getting kids up and ready for school, breakfasts made, lunches packed, clothes set out for the little ones--there's always alot going on here in the mornings. Just most days, it's 9 a.m. before I get my shower or at least dressed. Then I eat something then start my days chores.

The point I am trying to make is that I have been feeling overwhelmed and frustrated at my lack of accomplishments. I feel like there just isn't enough time in the day to get nearly as much done as I would like. By the time I get any housework done, it's lunch time and everything gets messed up again. My kids' rooms are always a mess because I can't get in there to get things organized. If we have errands to run outside of the house, forget about anything else getting done.

Our goal is to eventually home school our kids. This scares me because I don't know when I'll fit it in. Or fit in the housework/child rearing/quality time with kids/"me time".

I have an easy solution. Or at least it is easy in theory but to a sleep lover like me, it's going to be a challenge.

I am going to attempt to get up a couple hours before the rest of the household to get a jump on the day. It's kind of embarrassing to state this "goal" out here for all the world to see because it makes me seem so lazy and I assure you I am not!

As things go now, I stay up a couple hours at night to finish any chores and that is not working well. I end up going to bed way too late and it makes the next day even worse.

So. I stated my goal and I am hoping the fear of embarrassment failing would bring, will help me attain it.

Any of you who already do the "getting up at the butt crack of dawn the glorious sunrise" thing, how does that work for you?
For those that manage to squeeze in everything we stay at home moms must do everyday, how and the heck do you do it?

I am hoping I will see a difference quickly or else I am going back to bed.

100th Post

This is quite the milestone. I guess.

Wish I had some dramatic, new and interesting news to post about. Or a hilarious story of my children's newest antics. But, the only thing recent is a trip to the grocery store with all 4 children and there's nothing hilarious about that.

So, here's some random thoughts.

• While wearing a skirt and using the restroom, do you pull the skirt down and have the hem on the floor OR do you pull the skirt up and have your whole bottom half of your body exposed?
• Why does one get so mad while playing a video game? And the level is just too hard?
• Why are some attitudes and behaviors unacceptable in children but tolerated in adults?
• How can a two year old have so much energy to still be running through the house at 10 p.m.?
• If you'd known being a grown up was so hard, would you still have been in such a hurry to grow up?
• Sweet potatoes and yams. What's the difference? At my grocery store, in the produce department, sweet potatoes are white and yams are orange. But, in the baby food aisle, sweet potatoes are orange. And when you say you're making sweet potatoes, everyone is expecting something orange.
  
• Will the stupid things I do to my children scar them for life? Like, telling Jarrett he may NOT answer the door because it could be the Boogey Man. He'll probably need therapy for that. Of course, in our house the Boogey Man is only after your boogers. That's why you can't stick your finger up your nose, that's where the Boogey Man lives.
  
• Yeah. Probably big scars.
  
• When someone asks you a question and tells you "be honest" and then you're honest? And they get mad? That's not fair, is it?
• Does anyone remember life before cell phones? Or DVRs?

That's about it. I will end with this picture. Jeven played dress up today. He said he was going to school. His outfit is fine until you glance at his shoes. I think it would be tough on the playground with those.

Happy Birthday to Me!

Today I am 34. I am ok with that. Really. I don't feel 34. I remember when I was my kids' ages and 34 was ooolllldddd. But I am happy with my life so 34 is fine.

Now, next year. When I turn 35? Not so much. That's past my mid-thirties. That's getting closer to 40. But. I am not going to stress about that now.

All week my friends and family have asked what I am doing on my birthday and I would shrug my shoulders and say "probably nothing".
Birthday's (for me) just aren't that big of a deal. Yes, I like to be acknowledged and get presents but I don't like to be the center of attention and have big whoopdedoos.

But, I feel like I should do something today. Out of the ordinary.

I was awoken this morning by Jarrett yelling Happy Birthday I went poop! I have diarrhea!

So, like I said. Something out of the ordinary.

Like take a 4 hour nap. I am getting so ooolllddd you know.

Ladies, I Need Some Help!

Jayce is going to a birthday party on Saturday.

For a girl.

What does he bring for a gift?
She will be 10.

The only girls I have experience buying gifts for are much younger.
Do 10 year olds like Littlest Pet Shop and Barbie?

I am guessing not.

This girl is a great friend of Jayce's. He cares alot about her but she's not his girl friend. Just a friend that's a girl. So, I want to stay away from the jewelery.
Last year, we got her a Webkinz and she liked it but I am not sure she's still into them.

So, if any of you have any suggestions (inexpensive suggestions), could you be so kind and send them my way?

I am grateful!

Weekend Recap

Here is what we did this last weekend. Ready? Try and keep up.

SATURDAY:
8:15-Arrive at gym for Jayce's first basketball game of the weekend. Doors locked. Boys "warmed up" outside in the rain.
9:00-Game starts. We win!!
10:30-Watch nephew win his basketball game.
11:30-Attempt to walk through the home show. Very crowded and kids very bored.
1:00-Take Jayce to his friends house for bday party.
1:15-2:00-Yell at small children to lay down and go to sleep. They finally did.
2:30-Bday party at pizza parlor for friend from church
4:15-Pick up Jayce from his friends house.
6:00-Drop off children at babysitter's house.
6:30-10:30-Dinner at husband's boss' house. Found out how much husband lost on retirement.
11:00-Pick up children
12:15-Finally go to sleep.

SUNDAY:
10:00-Sunday school
11:00-Church
12:30-Basketball pizza party.
2:00-3:30-Naps! Didn't take children nearly as long to fall asleep this time.
4:00-Arrive at gym for Jayce's basketball game. The game for the championship. Find that other game went into over time so everyone is running about an hour behind schedule.
4:00-5:00-Sit in van with children, killing time until our turn to use the gym.
5:15-6:30-Cheer Jayce's basketball team on. They lose by 2 points!
6:35-6:45-Try to cheer up nine 10yr olds. 2nd place is still awesome!! Take team picture.
7:15-8:00-Feed children pizza for dinner. Not like we don't have a gazillion pieces left over.
8:30-Drag (literally) children to bed. They try to convince me they are NOT tired.
8:32-All 4 children sound asleep.

Now I am awaiting my husbands return. He left to go help a friend tear up their bathroom/kitchen floor.

Some families do these kind of weekends every weekend. We are not cut out for it. I am exhausted. My nerves are shot because of the close call on the basketball game. The kids are exhausted. They feel like they didn't get any "play" time. I guess the running around at pizza parlors doesn't count?

We are done with basketball. Jayce says he does not want to do baseball. Which is fine with me. I am all for it if he wants to play but if his heart isn't in it, I am not going to kill myself getting him to practices and games.

Josie starts soccer in two weeks.
Lord help me.



This is Jayce's basketball team. About 1/2
had never played before. The other 1/2 have only
played one year. Some of them are holding up the
"we're number 1" finger even though they came
in second. Our coaches were so awesome, they had
these boys feeling so proud of themselves that they
considered their team "Number 1".
Jayce is number 25, in the front.

I'm a Shmuck.

I am lucky. I love my in-laws and they love me. My husband's parents are divorced so I actually have two mother-in-laws (I know!) and I love them both. When we have a birthday party, everyone comes. There's no separate party for the exes or sides. My parents come, Judd's mom and dad and spouses come with their children. It's all one BIG happy family.
It wasn't always this way. When Jayce was younger, I did do the separate parties. More out of fear than anything. Then finally, some one pointed out how much work it was and that it was stupid. If grown people couldn't get along for a couple hours, a few times a year, then they could just stay home and miss out. Smart of me them.

The only "fly in this ointment of family harmony" would be my husband's grandmother. His dad's mom. She holds just a football field size grain of sand size piece of resentment towards her son's exwife. Nothing "Jerry Springer-ish",it doesn't draw much attention unless you are looking for it.

In fact, Grandma is more of my "mother in law" figure than my actual mother in laws. If my house is trashed and a MIL stops by, no biggie. But if it's Grandma, I freak. Only because I feel like Grandma is judging me more than my MIL would.
The judging is part of the problem, the other part is in my husband's eyes, his grandparents can do no wrong. And to be honest, mostly, they don't do any wrong. They have helped us out many times. They love my kids. Unconditionally. How many kids can say, these days, that they got to go fishing with their great grandfather?

But, what Grandma or Grandpa says, goes. According to my husband.
We may have plans but Grandpa calls and wants Judd to spend the day doing something with him, I can kiss my husband goodbye.
If I am cooking something, it's not unheard of (it should be) for my husband to say "My Grandma cooks it like .." (then usually the food item gets thrown across the room).
In our wedding, Grandpa was my husband's best man.

Judd and his Grandparents are very. very close.

Which brings me to yesterday.

My husband came home sick Monday afternoon. His Grandma happened to call and found out. Monday evening, alone, there were 3 phone calls to check on him.
Tuesday, Judd stayed home sick. I think before 3 p.m. there were at least 2 other calls to check on my dying husband.
Apparently, he was dying from the same virus that I had. The virus that kicked my butt but I was still able to take care of 4 children and make meals and basically function because I had to.

I just didn't know he was dying until his Grandparents became so concerned. (picutre me rolling my eyes at this point).

Finally, about 4:30 Grandpa called and asked how Judd was doing and said he was coming over. And also asked if we had dinner. Which, at 4:30 in the afternoon, I know it's a long shot that we hadn't eaten but, Judd told him no we had not.

I lost it. I threw a royal fit.
"Why do they need to come over? To check and make sure I am taking care of you? Are they bringing the kids a bunch of junk? Right before dinner? How come when I am sick, no one cares but when you get sick, the world has to stop? Why can't they mind their own business?"
So on and so on.

Then Grandpa shows up.

With pizza.

Which he hands to me.

And says "We didn't want you to have to worry about making dinner".

Yeah.
Call me shmuck. Nice to meet you.

What Comes Naturally?

Being down and out for about 4 days now, my house looks pretty out of shape. That's why it's extremely important that I blog. Right now.

My hubby was off today and did spend some time taking care of the kiddos while I rested. Or attempted to rest.
To his credit, he did try. He took Jarrett out on an errand. Then, he took Josie and Jarrett on a last minute run to help my dad with something. Leaving me with a feverish Jeven.

But, when everyone was home and I laid in bed ignoring what was going on outside our bedroom walls resting, and being interrupted by various questions, "where are the paper towels?" "where are the wipes?" "what do I use to clean up juice?", I began to get frustrated with my husband's inept way of handling the household.
Why can't he do it all? By himself? Like I do every day, in sickness and in health.
It's the same story everytime.

Then it occurred to me. It only comes naturally to me (and I think most mothers) to put our children's need before my own. Some days, I don't eat lunch until 2 p.m. when the kids are taking their naps. Or I don't get a shower until nap time. Or I don't get that new purse because Jayce needs basketball shoes. Or I don't have lunch with my girlfriends because Josie has a soccer game. It's not something that I am bitter or upset about, it's just the way it is.

But, to my husband, it doesn't come naturally. He doesn't think to feed the children unless a) they ask for food (and thank goodness they can talk!) or b) he is fixing himself something and they start picking off his plate.
He doesn't understand why the kids don't want to watch Man Vs. Wild. (then again, why would anyone want to watch that?)

Now, would he throw himself in front of a speeding train to save his children? Absofreakinlutely. If it was a choice between his children receiving life saving blood or himself, he'd choose his children. I have never questioned his ability to be a wonderful father.

It just doesn't come naturally to be a wonderful mother for him.

Sick

Jayce is fully recovered. No signs of mono. or strep throat.

However, I am now sick. With a terrible, terrible head cold. I had a magnesium drip when I was in labor with Jarrett. That was the worst feeling ever. This is close on it's heels.

Jarrett had a 24hr. version.
Now, it's Jeven's turn. And when Jeven gets sick, a 105 fever is not unusual.

I don't know which is worse. Everyone being sick all at once or everyone taking their turns.
Which ever, this sucks!

Rip Off

Jayce has been sick since Friday night with fever and headache and sore throat. The sore throat is so bad that he has been unable to sleep.

There is so much sickness going around, at church and at school, right now that I didn't think it was anything too serious.

But, he's gotten me up the last 2 nights in tears because he throat hurts so bad. I finally took a look and indeed, it was inflamed and white gunk all over it.

Now, you may be wondering why I haven't taken him to the doctor at this point.
Well, in short--because we can't afford it.

We have insurance but our deductible not only started over in January but it was raised this year as well. And, I literally sent our last payment on last years medical bills in last week. As of this morning, we had zero balance on all our medical accounts! This is a first in 6 years!

And, having been a parent for 10 years, I know that too many times, you pack up the sick child, sit in the waiting room (where, if you weren't sick before, you'll surely get sick there!) and finally see the doctor to be told it's a virus and there's nothing they can do.

I always feel like asking for a refund.
"Excuse me. My child was not actually sick. Can I get a refund on my copay? And any charges you will be sending to my insurance?"

This is why I hadn't taken Jayce to the doctor.

But, after seeing his throat this morning, I called and they got us right in. They did indeed think it was strep or maybe even mono. They did a rapid test and it was....(drum roll please)...

Negative.

Meaning, he does not have strep throat.

The nurse did say that he could still have mono but he is not acting sick or tired or anything so unless his fever returns, there is nothing more than can do at this point.

I said all the appropriate mother things: Oh,thank goodness! I will watch him for any signs of illness. I am so glad he doesn't have strep.

But, I am thinking inappropriate non-motherly things: Can't you at least give him some sort of shot? I paid big bucks for him to see you! We don't even get to keep the giant Q-tip thingy you shoved down his throat? What a rip off!

Yeah. No "Mother of the Year" award for me.