Why do we, as women, hurt so easily? By hurt, I mean our feelings.
I think I do pretty well not taking things so personally. Most of the time. We all know that "sometimes" we get overly emotional and cranky and witchy.
I used to not be so "tough". I used to come home from any social event and ponder what so-and-so meant by some harmless comment. Or worry that I said the wrong thing to someone.
I think having kids has made me say what I mean and mean what I say.
I can usually be tactful and express myself so there's no wondering what I mean or what someone meant by what they said.
Except when it comes to those that are the closest to me.
Family and super-close friends have the power to hurt me like nobody else.
And it seems that once a wound is inflicted on me, it just gets salt poured on it, over and over again.
It may develop a scab and start to heal, but then the wound gets bumped and hurts all over again.
Currently I'm hurting. Again.
And it's because I opened myself up, even though I knew what the result would be. I still put myself out there.
I'm not sure whom I most angry with--the one who caused the pain. Or myself.
I have a few people who can do that to me. Why don't I avoid them? Well, mostly I do. But they're family. So I do have to see them on occasion. I used to see them often, feeling guilty if I did not.
ReplyDeleteThen, my clock changed.
It became half past give a shit about 90% of the time and I just decided if they didn't want to be nice, I wouldn't spend much time with them in person.
You know what? It made me feel better immediately to have made that decision.
And the more years that pass since I did so, the bettter I feel.
Sending emotional healing your way as best I can...
I can relate. It's hard to remove yourself if they are family or close friends. Just know that their hurtful comments come from a bad place - and it may have nothing to do with you. Put up an "invisible shield" so their negative energy doesn't affect you.
ReplyDeleteI felt like I was looking in a mirror reading this post, and it's even worse right now because of the lovely pregnancy hormones.
ReplyDeleteI've done my best to accept this part of myself because I know that it means I care about those people and what they think of me. Some people say you shouldn't care about what anyone thinks, but I think that's impossible. You just have to choose the people and accept that they'll hurt you eventually. It sucks and I hate it, but it's part of life, and love.
Open wounds are the worse and with family or close friends they just seem to never totally heal. There always seems to be a scar. I know what you mean when you try and try and then it happens again and it is like you knew it would and you just want to kick yourself. It is because you have a heart and they are family and so you try. Sometimes, you have to tell yourself that you can't change them and you have to stop trying, just let it be. Close the wound and live with the scar but keep it a scar.
ReplyDelete