Seriously.

 I mean it.

Have a very, merry Christmas!!

Twas a Month Before Christmas

Except it isn't.

We are looking at T minus 5 days.

Let's look at my list and not check it twice:

All gifts bought? Nope.

Cards made? Nope.

Packages mailed? Nope.

Goodies baked? Nope.

House decorated? Yes!!

House clean? Nope.

Blog template changed? Yes!! 

Weight lost that I wanted to lose before Christmas? Nope.

Stressed? Nope.

Perspective gained? Yes!!

Christmas is one day.  If this past week, in light of such horrific events that I can't even write about them without falling apart, has taught me anything, it's that the hustle and bustle of trying to make everything perfect, is such a waste of time.

The things that really matter will take a lifetime to perfect. Not a month, not a week, not a day.
And I don't want to waste my time trying to make things perfect for one day, out of a lifetime.

Some of the things on my list will get crossed off, perhaps at the last minute. Definitely later than I would prefer. Some won't get crossed off at all. And, I'm fine with that.

School is out for Winter Break. We have Netflix and plenty of microwave popcorn, blankies and slippers. That's all I need right now. Life can change in less than a wink.  I don't want to look back and wish I'd slowed down and enjoyed it. 

The One With The Fudge

To me, there is no greater compliment you can give a woman than asking for her recipes.

Most of the time, I give out my recipes freely.  There are,however, a few I'd rather keep to myself. Or, to be more specific, my husband wants me to keep to myself.

A few years ago, around Christmas time, I made some orange fudge and gave it to my husband to share at work. It received rave reviews and was requested again the following  year. For some odd reason, my husband was very proud to be the one to bring "that awesome orange stuff" and even more proud that HIS wife was the ONLY one that knew how to make it. Everyone was happy happy.

Except one person. The store's bookkeeper. This lady was something else. She was super nice to your face then the first one to trash talk you when you turned your back. She was a liar. Truly. I don't make a habit of calling people names, but if the shoe fits....

She wanted my recipe. Badly. She asked Judd for it numerous times, but he did not want her making HIS fudge and passing it off as hers.  He would tell her he'd ask me for it then conveniently "forget" to bring it.
My husband had told me that he did not want her having this recipe and I was in agreement. Like I said, there are some recipes you want to "keep".

One day, she called me, at home, while my husband was at work, at the same place she worked, and asked me for the recipe. I told her she would have to ask my husband.
"Oh, he said you could give it to me." (Lie)
"Well, I will write it down and he can give it to you tomorrow."

It was no surprise when my husband confirmed that he indeed had NOT said he'd bring it to her.

It went back and forth like this the entire Christmas season.
The whole issue was silly but yet it became important to her to get the recipe and more important for us to NOT give it to her.  So silly what people do, huh?  (referring to myself here)

This lady  killed my desire to make the fudge again. I knew if Judd brought it to work, it would start all over again, her wanting the recipe, us not wanting her to have it.

I haven't made the fudge in 3 years. 

When my husband was set to transfer stores, last December, she once more brought up the recipe and her desire to have it. My husband, seeing as how he was going to be "rid" of this nasty woman once he moved stores, and in the spirit of Christmas, told her she could have the recipe. IF she promised, under no circumstances, to ever give it to anyone else. "Yes, yes!" she agreed.

5 minutes later, Judd's assistant manager (a good family friend), told Judd that this woman told him, "I finally got Judd to agree to giving me that recipe. I will make copies and give you one!".

Seriously??

Needless to say, she didn't get the recipe.  (And, for the record, we gladly gave it to the assistant manager because we love him and his family and his wife is a recipe respecter.)

I dug out the recipe today and made a batch. Judd will take it to his new store and share it.

Is it sick of me to hope word gets out,to Judd's old store, that his new store is enjoying some orange fudge?

I don't care. I'm a recipe snob.

The "funny" thing is, you could probably Go*gle "orange fudge" and find the recipe.  

 

Off Script

I don't claim to be the sharpest tool in the shed, but I'm no dunce either.

But, my daughter made quite the fool out of me yesterday.

I have teacher's manuals that go with my kids' books in school.  One of them being Josie's spelling.

Now, I'm sure you can all remember having a spelling test. The teacher says the word, says a sentence using the word, then repeats the word. 

Well, all that is included in the teacher's manual, the word, and sentence. It's like a script.

But, if you've read here long enough, you know we aren't the "follow the script" type of people.

Nope.

I like to make up my own sentences. And, if I'm honest, most of the time they are song lyrics. And, if I being ever more honest, I sing the sentence.

House.
Our house, is a very, very, very fine house. With 2 cats in the yard.
House.

Fire.
Come on baby, light my fire. Set the night on FIRE!!
Fire.

Kentucky.
Kentucky bluebird. I heard your song today.
Kentucky.


Most of the time, despite my foolishness, Josie gets the words correct.

One word she was guaranteed to get correct was: respect.

Can you see where this is going?

Respect.
R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Find out what it means to me. R-E-S-P-E-C-T.
Respect.

Wait, mom, can you say that again? I didn't get it.

And I repeat it!! Again and again because my daughter "didn't understand" what I was saying.

That's what I get for going off script,I guess.

So Much For THAT!

Posting every day proved to be more difficult than I first thought. It's not so much that nothing ever happens. It's just that it's not easy to put into words, all the things that happen here.

But, trying to post every day did make me realize that I need to blog more, I enjoy it, it brings me peace.

Here is what has been happening since I posted last:

• If you will remember my new nephew, James, born 10 wks early. He is now 9 months old, and doing so well. I was lucky enough to get some cuddles in this weekend and am looking forward to Christmas with him and his sister and mom and dad visiting again. God does wonderful things! 

 

•  Finding this on our front porch was quite alarming. I'm not fond of spiders. At all. But, this guy looked so cool, I told the kids to leave him. He has been in the exact same spot for 3 days now.

• We hosted a teen lunch after church. It's the 3rd one we have done. We go to a very small church, so luckily, we are not talking hundreds of teens. We have a very small house, so unluckily, it gets kinda crowded. But, they all had fun. Watch a couple of movies and had me worried that they would eat me out of house and home ate nachos. I think I managed to get at least one body part of every teen present in this picture. 

 

•  Luther, the baby dog, got sick with some sort of infection. A trip to the vet, antibiotics and $100 later, he is good as new. He started shivering and was terribly lethargic. When you eat pizza in front of your dog, and slobber does not drip down his face and he doesn't cry for just a small taste, you know something is wrong. I was afraid that he had been poisoned, by what, I did not know but, I was convinced he was dying. I called the vet and they couldn't get us in for 2 hours! I was afraid he would be dead by then but I didn't have a million dollars to take him to the emergency vet. (Yes, those exist). I told the kids to watch him, while I took a shower. I come out to find him sleeping, like this:

I knew he was dead. I screamed his name and stomped my feet. Luther, and everyone else in the house, jumped to attention and rolled their eyes kindly reminded me that he always sleeps like this. (And, it's true. This picture was taken months ago.) Stupid dog. 

• That's all the updates for now. Blogger is giving me fits again, with the pictures. I think Blogger hates me. 
• I hope you all have a truly wonderful Thanksgiving!  I know I have so much to be thankful for! 

Truth is Thursday

Truth is.....I thought I was going to have to do CPR tonight, for the very first time, on one of my favorite residents. But, she "came to" and was fine. And so were the EMTs.

Truth is.....I'm starting to do a little Christmas shopping and I'm a tad panicked about money. But, that's always the case, this time of year.

Truth is.....It wasn't such a bright idea to give birth to two children in the month of December. We certainly didn't think things through!!

Truth is.....I think I was more excited to find out Jarrett's teacher is pregnant than Jarrett's teacher!!

 Truth is.....Even though I miss my kids when I'm at work, I still sorta find them annoying. Sorta. On a bad day.

Truth is.....This blogging every day is hard!! And, I'm not sure it's worth it.

Truth is.....With Thanksgiving approaching (speedily!!) I find myself complaining less and appreciating more. Which in truth is a good habit to have, year round. 

No Way Kay!

This time of year, you start to see sappy commercials about soldiers coming home, kids coming home from college, Santa advertises a cola drink, along with some polar bears. 

The "Holiday Spirit" is all over, on t.v.


Most of the time, I'm not bothered. Some commercials are shown every year, so it's like seeing old friends again. The one with the older brother coming home and the sister is the only one that gets up and they make coffee and it's all special. Sappy but cute. Harmless. 

However, I hate (yes, hate) with a passion the jewelery commercials. Especially the ones that end with a horribly cheesy song about "every kiss begins with the name of their store."

They make me angry!!! I'm not sure why? 

Probably because my husband and I are so not like anything in those commercials. Both times my husband presented me with expensive jewelery (my engagement ring and a pair of earrings) they were given to me in his own special way. No music. No candles. No poems. And, I'm totally okay with that. We are "real".  We do romance our own way. Like going to Walmart without the kids. Or his favorite, Cabelas.  (okay, really, we do do better than that. I'm just not going to go into great detail here. Seeing as how my mother in law reads my blog.) 

Anyways, my husband has been permanently banned,by me, from shopping at this particular jewelery store.  He didn't complain too much.

It's My Blog, I Make the Rules

 And, I say, when one is sick and trying to post every day, she can totally re-post.  It's one that didn't get any comments but I have a feeling I will get some this time.

Originally posted Nov. 2008

What do I say...

...when my three year old hands me this picture he has made, all by himself?

You Would Think

I'm not sure what to post about, really. Nothing profound happened. My kids didn't do anything too outstanding (thank you, Lord!). 

Everyone was out of school. You would think that meant getting to sleep in. But, noooo...we must all get up BEFORE our normal time and start running through the house.

Got laundry, dishes and other miscellaneous chores done. Went to Wal-mart, me and the four kids.
You would think that since my kids are "older" (6-13) that it's not a big deal anymore, shopping with them all. But, noooo....they are too big for a cart but yet little enough to be easily distracted and touch every. single. thing. they see. Jayce, the oldest, doesn't want to be seen with us so he goes off in his own direction. Mostly coming back just in time to ask me to buy him a treat. Usually I say no because that would mean I'd have to buy four treats.

Drove through McD's and spent too much money on food that's not so great. All the little ones care about are the toys (which, this time, ended up being little skate boards that my boys LOVED and played with for a long time. Like 10 min. or something) and the food gets cold and then they don't want to eat. You would think I'd learn my lesson and save some money. But, noooo....I give in thinking it's the easiest way to make everyone happy.

Made dinner for the family to eat while I was at work. Made everyone take their showers and finish up their homework so my husband wouldn't have to deal with it when he got home.

Went to work. Gave the lady her teddy bear. You would think she would gush and gush and proclaim she loves it. But, noooo...although she was very happy to get it, she proclaimed it wasn't the right color. That's okay.  Seriously. Josie did it because she wanted to, no other reason. And, it did make the lady happy. I later saw it on her bed. 

Gave an old man a shower. You would think I would be use to it by now. But, noooo...I still can't believe the places I rub lotion on, the things I wipe, the things I do. All for $9/hr.  Seriously, senior care is so ridiculous. We want our loved ones to be loved and cared for. But, caregivers get paid slightly better than min. wage? But, yet, residents are charged THOUSANDS of dollars to live there?  I'm glad I like the job and that we don't "need" it.

Came home, pet the kids, hugged the dog. Told them to put on their p.j.s. You would think they would rush to obey. But, noooo...15min. later, I walk into the boys' room to find them buck naked. And wrestling. Seeing as how I'd seen enough nakedness for one day, I rushed to clothe them, tuck them into bed, say prayers and give kisses. 

Now, I'm blogging. You would think it would be a wonderfully, hilarious, touching post. But, noooo...this is pretty much it!

Veterans Day

Some More Fiction

Thought you'd like to hear  some more stories about my job. 

Let's say there was a lady that either sits in a chair outside her room or walks circles around the building umpteen times a day.  Whenever I see her, we have this conversation:

Emma*: I need to ask you something.
Me: Okay!
Emma: You got kids?
Me: Yup.
Emma: REALLY? How many?
Me: Four
Emma: Omigosh!!  What are they?
Me: 3 boys and 1 girl.
Emma:  Will you bring them in to see me?
Me: Yes, someday.

And, the hilarious thing is, she is so genuinely thrilled and in shock when I say I have four kids. The joy and wonder in her face makes me almost excited as well that I have four kids. 
Literally, less than five minutes can pass and we will have the exact conversation again.
I'm thinking about shaking things up and telling her I have 15 kids, but that seems mean.


There are many residents there that are on hospice care. Meaning, they are dying. Well, aren't they all, but, some are expected to die a lot sooner than others.
One new resident was told this week she has 6 months.  She is very, very depressed. And angry.  It is very hard to go in her room, being unable to really "help" her the way she needs. 
The activities director passed out a questionnaire about teddy bears. "Did you have a teddy bear? What was it's name? How long did you have it? Etc." 
This lady filled hers out and it told about how she never had a teddy bear. She had always wanted one but her mom wanted her to have dolls. That's all she got, dolls. And, not the cute soft kind but wooden ones, she said.

Tonight, as I tucked Josie in to bed, I told her the sad story of the lady with no bear.  She suggested we go to Walmart and buy her a bear. And, I think that's a brilliant plan. Every girl should have at least one teddy bear, don't you think?

My Manly Men

My husband was off work today.

 Because he has already gone hunting and gotten his deer, he wanted to take the "little boys" up in the woods and have Manly Time.

He got them out of bed at 5:30. One kid is notorious for not sleeping. The other, for not wanting to get up, ever.  Needless to say, to do something cool with Dad, they were both up and ready to go before you can say "It's too darn early for this, Mom's going back to bed".

They left and I worried. I always worry when my kids are out in the woods. No good reason. Just if they aren't with me, it doesn't feel right.

Of course, they came home and were so very excited to tell me all they had done. They both spoke at once:

• Dad peed in the snow and wrote his name! It was in cursive!
• I got to drive the car!
• My feet are frozen! 
• We all had to pee and guess who peed the longest? AND the furthest!! ME!! 
• No, I'm not tired at all! Why do you ask? 
• What's to eat?

So, apparently, Manly Time in the woods involves peeing, a lot and far, and freezing. Not my idea of a good time but I wasn't invited.

P.S. The one that is notorious for never wanting to get up, is also the one that wears shorts, 365 days a year. I stopped arguing about it about a year ago. He seriously never gets cold. 

Posting in Pain

I tweaked my back. Tweaked not being a medical term but it's pretty universal. 

It seemed okay until I went to work. And lifted and pulled and stretched. And went up and down three flights of stairs a dozen times.

So, tonight, I will be sleeping with my new best friend, who happens to be pretty hot--Mr. Heating Pad. 
I feel old.

This post will be short and sorta random. 


I'm thinking I will be needing to have "THE TALK" with my daughter. And soon. She will be 10 in December. I started getting visits from Aunt Flo at her age. And, she just seems....extra...unpredictable. She is still very innocent, which is totally fine for us. One reason we home school her. But, I would hate for her to get a surprise visit from Auntie. She would freak.
I'm the "talker" in our house. I'm the one that talked to Jayce. I'm very straight forward and to the point.
It will be interesting to see what kinds of questions Josie comes up with. ( :

I went to the boys' teacher conferences today. Both teachers had wonderful things to say about the boys. And, I'd like to take this moment to add, even though we home school two of our children, we don't think public school is "bad". We have been very blessed with great teachers. Both of the teachers I met with today, were not strangers to me.  No matter where your kids go to school, it is very important to be part of it.  These teachers KNOW me because I'm involved.  They both made some comments that demonstrated they know my boys VERY well.  Which is awesome.


That's all I have for today.  Maybe something more interesting will happen tomorrow?

Oh , who am I kidding? Interesting stuff is always happening around here!

Resurrection Post

This is a fancy way of saying :I'm re-posting something you may, or may not, have seen before.

Juli gave me the idea. I did not link back to the original blogger that came up with the idea, but Juli did and you can click through, if you choose.

I love re-reading some of my old posts! I especially love the pictures of my kids when they were still cute much younger. And, I still laugh out loud at some of the things they did. This post still makes me laugh: 

I'd Hate to be THAT Brother!

I was driving around today doing errands and we had to pull over for a firetruck. Here is the conversation that followed:

Josie: I hate firetrucks!
Me: Why?
Josie: Because they make you pull over!
Me: Well, you should think of the people that need that firetruck and pray that they will be ok.
Josie: I just hate them!
Me: How would you feel if one of your brothers was hurt and mommy had to call a firetruck and they took a really long time to get there and your brother was hurt really bad?

Silence from the back of the van.

Then.

Josie: Which brother?

Originally posted Nov. 10, 2008 (although this seriously could've happened yesterday, I swear!) 

Gossip Schmossip

One thing I was not looking forward to, when I went back to work, was the gossip. You can't avoid it. It's everywhere, even as a stay at home mom. It's among family members, church goers and even at the checkout line at the store.

But, I knew, from experience, that I would be surrounded by it now.

When I was a teenager, I worked as a hotel housekeeper and there was gossip among the other housekeepers. Who didn't mop their floor on their hands and knees, who got caught smoking in the laundry room,  even who was dating whom.

In my 20s, I worked retail. Most of that gossip was about partying and again, dating.

After I was married, before I had kids, I worked in a beauty salon. Need I say more? 

Now, I work with everything from 19 yr. olds, girls and boys both, and grown-ups.  I've tried so very hard to just do my work and go home. But, it's difficult.  People can so easily get upset when someone else doesn't take out their trash. Or takes an extra 2 min. on their lunch break.  Or get their feelings hurt when a facebook friend request isn't accepted (not kidding!). 

Like I said, I'm trying to stay out of it. But, I do make comments to other workers about another worker. It's hard not to! 

Then, I get paranoid when I see a facebook status about back stabbers and two facers. I go back through conversations I had the night before with someone and second guess everything.

It's like being in high school junior high all over again!!

But, it's made me realize that I want to teach my children to think about what comes out of their mouths. If you can't say something to someone's face, don't say it at all. 

Maybe it will save them from catching the gossip bug!

Might Have Monday

 I might have stayed up way past my bedtime to watch pictures slowly download so I could post yesterday. (And still didn't make the "deadline"!)

I might have stressed myself out way too much about this posting everyday thing.

I might have let my kid eat a corndog for breakfast.

I might have let him eat one for a mid-day snack as well. And possibly dinner.

I might have watched the movie "Rudy" and cried like a baby.

I might have realized my work pants had a hole in the butt after I'd worn them at work.

This might not be the first time that has happened. 

I might have waited until the last possible moment to fill out my ballot.  It's kind of hard to choose between bad and also bad. 

I might be glad this day is over and it's almost time to watch this: 

Fallishness

Today was a beautiful, unusually warm fall day. 79 degrees in November but snow on the first day of Spring? Definitely Oregon.

I devised a plan to get :

• everyone out of the house
• make everyone tired so as they would sleep tonight
• get some cute pictures taken, possibly for Christmas cards

We went to Dorris Ranch, which (in case you don't want to bother clicking through) is a filbert orchard that is open to the public and has plenty of hiking trails and lots of nature and ...well, stuff.

I, of course, envisioned a perfect family outing where at the end, all would chorus "We are such a happy family" and we would have a perfectly coordinated Christmas card all ready to go.

And, of course, I knew better. I really, really did.

Scratch the perfectly coordinated Christmas card attire. It was all we could do to find coats, shoes and other appropriate attire, let alone anything "matchy matchy". 

Scratch the adorable family photo as nobody wanted their pictures taken and the stupid dog's "pinky" comes out every time the camera is pointed at him. (so cannot wait for him to be neutered).

And certainly scratch the joyous outbursts, they don't exist, at least in my family. You're more likely to hear "How much further do we HAVE to do this for??" ringing through the forest than pleasantries.

However, it was something different and everyone is certainly tired and add the outing with the time change and we have a quiet house.

Here are some pictures I did manage to take. Spring is my favorite season, but Fall sure puts up a good fight.

It seriously took 4 hours to load these pictures?!? So, technically,I missed posting "yesterday" but I'm counting this post as Sunday's. I'm the boss.

**THEN I thought I hit "publish" but I didn't??  So, pretty, pretty please give me credit for thinking I posted Sunday.  Credit means everything to me. A Gold Star would be even better. **

So Much Comfort, I Actually Relaxed!

That title pretty much sums it up! 

The slumber party was at my friend's in-laws house, out in the country. The house was beautiful!  Not just a nice house, but a beautiful, homey house that was better than any hotel I've ever stayed in. 

We ate pizza, laughed, played card games, laughed, ate a Ding-Dong cake and laughed some more.  I re-bonded with my friends that I love so much. 

And....I slept for 9 hrs. straight.  The awkwardness of having to share a bed with someone  that wasn't my husband wasn't even an issue as there were enough bedrooms for us all to have our own.  I was the 2nd one to go to bed but I was okay with that. I woke this morning, with no alarm, no children needing anything, I just...woke up! The house was still quiet as the other ladies went to bed much later that I. I went for a walk down to see the cows and chickens, the dog (the owner's) walked with me and even their cat tagged along. It was a perfect, peaceful morning. 

The only thing I regret is not taking pictures. The land was gorgeous, the house perfect and it would've been nice to take pictures of us "girls". 

It was the absolutely perfect thing for me to do, to push myself to get out of my comfort zone and jump in to somehting out of the ordinary.

And, Juli, you are definitely invited next year. ( :

Out of Comfort

I'm going out of my comfort zone this weekend, you guys.

But, seeing as how November is suppose to be about me (self declared event), I decided I needed it.

I'm going to a slumber party.

Yes, I'm 37 old enough that I should not be typing that last sentence. But, yes, a slumber party.

And, seeing as how the only person I like to sleep with is my husband, and this is a ladies only party, I feel uncomfortable. 

But, there will be laughter, fellowship and most importantly, junk food.

I'm stepping out of my comfort zone in the spirit of building a closer bond to my friends, relaxing and most importantly, getting away from the house where the dog seems to have a horrible bout of diarrhea and intense flatulence.

Anything will be better than hanging around that! 

Bedtime Rush

When I was younger, before I had kids,I made a commitment to my future children. I swore I would always look when I was asked "Look,Mom!" and I would listen when my kids would tell a story.

And, for the most part, I've been pretty consistent. Not perfect, but consistent. If I was going to grade myself, I'd give me a "B-". Definitely a passing grade.

It's not easy. Sometimes,the "Look, Mom!" is for something so mundane and ordinary that I honestly can't help but feel I wasted 2 seconds that I will never get back. Like, shoving a straw up a nose. Sometimes, it's something spectacular that is worth more than any dollar amount. Like, dressing the dog in a shirt and tie.

For the most part, I play the part of the attentive, patient mother during the day.

Until bedtime.


For the love of all things holy and pure, that clock hits 8 o'clock and those children cannot move fast enough.
I try giving plenty of warning, plenty of time to get all the brushing, pottying, drinking done so it doesn't feel like a rush.
But, I cannot get rid of my children tuck them in to bed fast enough!!

It's like them being asleep by 8:30 is life or death.

"You can't find the matching top to your Mario p.j.s?  Too bad!! Get in to bed!!!"
"You want to show me how you can do a back flip from your bed to your brother's? No way! Get in to bed!!""
Long gone is the attentive, patient mother of the day.  Now, they are dealing with angry,impatient mother that is slowly going insane all because you are not asleep and leaving her alone to watch Hulu.

Luckily, my husband, who has not spent all day with the children and thus actually has patience stored up, says their prayers with them, prayers that consist of more than "Help Jeven not be a spazz tomorrow. Amen." and helps balance it all out.

But, for the record, if we were to hand out grades for cooking or hair braiding, I would totally get an A.  My husband cannot claim the same thing. Just sayin'.... 

Don't Laugh...

....I'm going to attempt to post every day in November.( Karey, you just spit out your coffee, didn't you?)

Actually, I'm making November "my" month. I'm starting my New Years Resolutions early. Changing some things, adding some new habits, new ways of thinking, of acting. 

You see, I went to the doctor yesterday. Had to have something "checked out"* and I was once again reminded of rather serious health issues that I have managed to ignore but yet, I'm not so sure I can ignore them much longer, without serious lasting effects. 

So, it's gonna be about "me" now. I say "me" because as a mom,and a wife, it will never only be about me.  Nor would I want it to be. But, I do deserve a spot, closer to the top, on my list of priorities. 

And since I'm making "me" a priority and I do enjoy blogging, I want to do it more.

And if I state my goal for all to see, maybe I will feel accountable and actually follow through. 

**I went in to have 2 moles checked. One came out of nowhere, the other I've had for awhile.  My doctor said "Well, they look benign. You see, as we get older, we get these spots..."
He stopped talking after he took one look at my stricken face and just left it at that.
I'm glad it's not cancer but not so happy about the age spots. **

Booger Walls and Sticky Uni-brows

Been a while. I know. I can't even believe we are looking at the back end of October. You know what's just around the corner, don't you? Don't say it though as I'm hoping my kids won't notice. Of course, seeing as how the retail stores have had Christmas decorations out for 6 weeks, I think they might be getting a clue.

I've been working alot. Too much.  Turns out, when you show up on time, do your job and people like you, they want you to do it more.  I cannot believe the amount of no-shows and call-ins that happen.  Why do people get a job if they have no intention of ever doing it?

When I'm not working, I'm doing the regular stuff-- playing SongPop on Facebook homeschooling, housework, parenting my kids, constantly vacuuming after the dog, etc..
I think the most challenging thing about me working, is feeling guilty for not being here and trying to make up for it in the most ridiculous ways.  "Oh, you want cookies for breakfast? Well, since I wasn't here to tuck you in last night, that sounds fair."  "You are hitting your brother? You shouldn't do that but since I wasn't here to get you off the bus 4 days ago, have a cookie." And the fact that they are store bought cookies, seems to make it worse.

But, I'm still trying to stick to my rules and regulations that have been around here for forever. The jar thing is still working quite well. Candy is a good motivator. And so are cookies.

However, there is one child we have had some challenges with. Jarrett (7) takes no responsibility for his actions and is quick to blame anyone else in the house. His sister/brothers/dog/cat/fish/next door neighbor is the one that is in the wrong, not him.
For instance, he has a blanket he sleeps with every night,since he was a baby. He likes to wrap it around himself in the morning until he gets dressed. At that time, it gets thrown on the floor where the dog sleeps on it and I feel like I have to wash it before Jarrett can snuggle with it again. Sometimes, I wash it more than once a day.  I have reminded him numerous times that he needs to put it on his bed when he is done with it. It finally came to the point that I told him I would take it from him if I found it on the floor again.
Sunday morning, I found it on the floor,as we were heading out the door for church. I quickly grabbed it and stashed it away.
As we came home and everyone was changing out of their church clothes, Jarrett was looking for his blanket.  Couldn't find it anywhere.  I just gave him a "I told you so I'm the mother I'm always right" look and he knew. And the excuses came quickly "I didn't do it! I didn't leave it out! I put it away".  I pointed out that I certainly did find it on the floor and it was highly unlikely that someone went and got it off his bed and brought it out to the living room. I also pointed out that when you do something wrong, accept responsibility for it, apologize and promise not to do it again. Jarrett was having none of my reasoning and calmness. He decided to throw a fit and stomped off to his room. I followed and we laid down together, on his bed, the bottom bunk, and we talked about taking responsibility and staying calm and so on. As we are having this tender mother-son moment, I notice the boogers smeared on the wall. Yup. 
"Jarrett!!! Are you picking your nose and putting the boogers on your wall?!"
"No, it's not me!!"
"Seriously? What did we JUST talk about? You mean, someone else is picking their nose, and climbing down here just to smear their boogers on your wall?"
"Yup."
"Fine. We shall see"
Off I march to the living room where I present the following:  "Those of you that have EVER picked your nose and wiped the boogers on the wall right where Jarrett sleeps, raise your hand."

At first, no hands go up. Then, slowly, slowly, Jeven's (6) hand goes up and he says, not sheepishly I might add, "Yeah. I've done that a few times."

I quickly look for assistance to my partner in this crazy gig we call parenting to find him having a mild stroke from laughing so hard.

From the bedroom, I hear "Told you so!!!" 
So, Jarrett is still working on being accountable for his actions but..he is quick to point out that it is highly possible someone else did do it.

Jeven tried something a little different the other night, that in no way could be blamed on anyone but himself.

We came home from church Wed. evening and he quickly ran into the house saying "I'm using the bathroom, nobody come in!!!" which is actually odd as we are a family of six, with one toilet. Chances of anyone getting to use the bathroom exclusively are rare. But, I was busy getting chocolate out of the freezer the other kids ready for bed. I noticed Jeven standing by my side, crying. (When Jeven cries, there is no sound, just HUGE tears) I ask "What is wrong??"  I notice he has his arm over his face. I take his arm down to see something on his face, on his eyebrows to be exact. 

It is gum.

He wanted to see what he looked like with a unibrow.  
With his gum. In his eyebrows. 

I quickly march him to his father, who I'm sure is to be blamed, somehow. (I wonder where Jarrett gets it?)
Once again, I am disappointed by my man's lack of ability to keep a straight face whenever our kids do something odd.

There have been many of times we've had to get gum out of hair. We use peanut butter. So, I smother Jeven's eyebrows with a hefty dose of Jif.  Which happens to be a certain dog's favorite treat. 

Once Luther had licked Jeven's eyebrows clean, we noticed that the gum was still there.

I had to use tweezers to get the gum out. Of my child's eyebrows. 
Now, he has the furthest thing from a uni-brow as he is a tad off centered with his eyebrows. One is quite a bit....less than the other. 

If you are still with me, at the end of this long post, I will be amazed.  It's a long one but things like booger walls and sticky uni-brows, they just gotta be discussed.  ( :

An Update IS Coming...

Lots to say, no time nor energy to say it. But, I do have a post sitting in the draft column. Hopefully get to it  this weekend. Fingers crossed! 


In the mean time: 

Luther still thinks he is a lap dog.

Jarrett, 2nd grade

Jeven, 1st grade

Great Grandpa, My husband, Future Freezer Meat, Jayce, Kenny (longtime hunting partner)

Coming soon: The Booger Wall, and, The Uni-brow, stories. With titles like that, how can you stay away?!

Total Fiction

When I started working at the assisted living facility, I just knew I'd have hundreds of hilarious stories for you all.  And, I do.

However, there is a law that says I cannot talk about the residents in any manner that does not have to do with their care. And, since I'm forever trying to obey the law and stay within the lines, I will not be telling you stories about some of the lovely people I take care of.

However, there is no law that says I cannot make up my own stories. So, here are a few "fiction" stories. M'kay?

I do see lots of skin.  Old people's jiggly bits. It's not pretty. But, it amazes me how fast I've gotten use to it.
Let's pretend that one night, an older gentleman pulled his call light (alerting us we need to go assist) and I entered his room to, oh, let's say...find him buck naked, sitting on his bed, with only his black circulation stockings on.  Turns out he needed assistance getting the socks off. Which I did. As I left, I thought to myself:  Self, how did you get to the point that seeing a 90 yr. old naked man doesn't even phase you any more?  You are bad ass.


Let's pretend that one evening at dinner, I noticed a man choking. Not just "cough cough went down the wrong pipe" choking but CHOKING.  In my story, let's say, I reached behind him, made a fist and proceeded to thrust inward and upward, thus pushing air up through his throat and the food dislodged itself. He was fine, breathing on his own, so I then continued to serve the orange sherbet. And, later that evening, after filling out the necessary paperwork, calling the man's family and updating them, I decided to go visit the man, to make sure all was well.  He then told me the story of how he choked at dinner and it was scarey and a nice girl  assisted him and he is ok. He totally didn't even realize it was me that had "assisted him".  So,probably no medal for me. But, that's ok.


Or I could make up a story about a man that clung to me one night, crying out of loneliness, missing his wife of 60+ years. But, there's not much humor in that.


I am loving the job. Although it involves bodily fluids (and yes, solids) and nakedness and odd smells and all sorts of attitudes.  I'm amazed at how attached I am to the residents and how much it hurts when they move on, either to another facility or...well....you know....

I love them all. And, that is not fiction.

Walking Close and Other Randomness

First day of school has come and gone. Again.

I have the oldest two at home, with me, and the younger two go to elementary school. 1st and 2nd grades.  I really contemplated keeping at least Jarrett home this year. But, with me working, even part-time, I was afraid I wouldn't do his eager little mind justice. Then, when we found out who his teacher was, I was SO happy! She is awesome! And, Jeven has the same teacher Jarrett had last year, who is also very awesome. (See, I'm not so stuck on homeschooling that I can't appreciate how hard public school teachers work and how great they can be. Just throwin' that out there.)

I only got one less embarrassing decent picture this morning, of the two going to school.

 Jeven was very adamant that I NOT take pictures at the school, nor kiss him in the school. Which, sadly, is a first for me. My kids have always been okay (at least they allowed it) with kisses and hugs in public. I was surprised that this was an issue this morning, and to be honest, it did make me sad. But, I did want to respect his wishes so I put the camera away, gave a kiss at the car and we walked into the school.

As we walked down the hallway to Jeven's classroom, I noticed he was walking close to me. At first, I thought he was not paying attention and just brushing up against me. Soon, I realized he was doing it on purpose.

Soon, a little, sweaty palm was reaching for my hand.  I grasped it and held back the tears and walked him into his class. Where I got a hug (still no kiss) and a last glimpse at my "baby" (who also happens to have his first loose tooth. Jeven, you're killing me!!)  who would not be home with me again until 3 p.m.! 

But, as much as I missed the little boys, homeschooling was SO much simpler without the distractions.  So, there is hope for my sanity after all. 

We are trying something new here, to try and get a handle on the bickering, name calling and just plain mean-ness that seems to take up every. waking. second. of my day!!

Each child gets a jar, with set amount of candy in it. Each time they provoke, react in anger or are just mean to another person, they get a piece taken away. However, when they are observed being patient, kind and loving, especially in a trying situation, they will get a piece added. At the end of the week, they can eat whatever is in their jar. 

My kids seem to do better with "visual" reward system. Taking away privileges, time outs, strangling them, or any other punishment doesn't work. Or, hasn't, Lord knows. 

So, we will try this. It could be huge success (Yes, please!) or a huge flop.  I could be a mother genius or mother moron. But, it's sure as heck worth a shot, no? 





In closing, I will give you a picture of my kids on a fake, large fish. Because, who doesn't love that?

Curtain Rods and Toilet Seats

My house isn't perfect. Shocking, I know.

It is so beyond perfect, I sometimes get embarrassed.

But, then, I look around at my friend's houses and they aren't perfect either.

I'm not just talking about housekeeping skills.

I mean, things that are in need of repair and are just "off".  It's a never ending list.

Some things, we get fixed right away--leaking faucet, clogged toilet, new batteries in the Wii remote. The important things.

Some things, we put on the list and that's as far as we go with it. Money and time are a huge factor. But, then, you just sort of get used to the thing being broken or "off".  

For example, if you were to come to my house, you would notice our t.v. seldom gets turned off. Not because we are addicts and watch it 24/7. But, because, if you turn it off, it's not guaranteed it will turn back on. It's been like this for years. Years.  (you can actually read about it here. But it's pretty boring. Basically, we got an insurance check and spent it on xmas presents. Yeah. But, really? You get a $800 check on Dec. 1st, what would you do?). 

In an effort to use less electricity, we will sometimes turn off the t.v. So, in the mornings, conversations like this happens:
Mom, can we watch Power Rangers?
Sure, if the t.v. is working.
Magical, magical, magical (the kids' chant that they swear works every time)


Totally normal, right?

Also, we put on a new bathroom door, oh, two years ago.  And, my husband ran out of trim to go around the door. Yes, two years ago. So, we have a bathroom door, but no trim. That means that there is a itty-bitty, tiny gap that someone, if they were so inclined, could use to spy on you while you tinkle.  But, in a house with 4 children that never happens.

Totally normal, right?

It's our normal but not other peoples. They have their own normal at their own house.

Just like it's our normal to have bent curtain rods in the kids' bedrooms. Yes, I've replaced them. Numerous times but somehow they end up bent. Not one child has ever swung by the curtains, or so I've been told.

Just like it's our normal to have a toilet seat that moves when you sit on it (we have lots of issues with our bathroom, apparently.). Yes, we've replaced those as well. A many number of times. But, somehow, they seem to manage to get all cattywampass. And not one child has ever practiced their Spiderman leap off the toilet into the bathtub, or so I've been told.

What is your normal that not might be another person's normal?

Last Hurrah

Summer is closing down around us.

The backpacks are packed with fresh school supplies.

The home school cupboard is stocked as well. 

The kids are begging for a somewhat stricter schedule.

Ok. That last one was a lie.

It's me that's ready for a schedule. Period. Doesn't even have to be that strict. 

I'm ready for bedtimes and chores and boundaries.  Because all of those things have seemingly disappeared over the summer. With the nice weather and the changes that came with me working a few nights a week. 

I love to swim, as do my kids but where I live, there are not (in my opinion) decent family swimming areas. But, where I grew up?Where I swam 5 out of 7 days a week, during the summer? It's like heaven on earth.
Look:

When I was younger, it was open to the public but it wasn't well known. Now, it's more private and I felt like I needed permission to bring the kids there.

So, I made a phone call to my connection (Grandma still lives out here) and after an hour drive, we were there.

My little fish (plus a nephew fish) ready for the water! 

We had the whole place (mostly) to ourselves, which is exactly how I like it! Grandma did good, you guys!

The kids absolutely loved the clean water, not having trash floating around them, not having drunk people being stupid around them and it being vacant. 

I'm so glad they liked it as I will be bringing back somewhat of a schedule starting next week. It was most likely the last truly fun day for a while. 

Lesson Learned (With a Hefty Price)

A while ago, I thought I'd be a cool mom and take all my children to the mall, more specifically to Juicy Berry, which is a self serve frozen yogurt cafe. 

All different kinds of tasty frozen yogurts, all different toppings. The combinations are endless!!

But, I only had $20.  Plenty of money to get us all a treat, no?

I forgot I had a 13 year old garbage disposal boy with us.

As I kept Jarrett and Jeven from sampling every single flavor and thus dispensing frozen yogurt onto the floor, and kept an eye on Josie, making sure she didn't get Latte flavored (knowing she'd hate it and most likely cry the whole entire time and knowing I'd probably give in and give her mine then I'd be out of a treat and that would just suck), I totally didn't keep an eye on the oldest.


I have been to this cafe previously and the most I ever spent was $7.


That day?

Take out the girls, add in a 13 yr. old boy, add about 3 times the toppings. 

  $17.65

We sat at that cafe a REALLY long time as Jayce was eating every single bite of that yogurt. I didn't  care how frozen his brain was. 

I'd better take note of these little lessons as I have 2 more boys that will be teenagers before I know it!! Good thing Juicy Berry has a punch card. ( :

Show Boatin'

This summer has been more on the sucky side than the sunny side. But, such is life.

We are just cruisin' along, trying to enjoy some fun, when we can.

My oldest left for a week, to camp. The house is quiet without him but yet....there is more food for the rest of us. ( :

Here are a few pictures because my kids ARE cute and you NEED to see them!

Jarrett catching some air on the trampoline!

Luther, 7 months.

Josie, doing the trampoline/sprinkler combo the only way she knows how. Diva style. 

We were lucky enough today, to go out on my dad's boat!  It was wonderful!  I forget how much I love to be on the water. My husband took a wonderful picture of me doing a canon ball off the boat but..you will not see it here! 

Josie enjoying the ride.

Jeven. Notice the purple marker on his face?  ( :

Jarrett, catching some more air, as he jumps off the boat.

I love this picture! That's my dad, helping Josie drive the boat.  Her longs are so long! She is growing up so fast!

Here's to hoping the rest of our summer is sunny and not sucky!

Bringing Home the Bacon (Bits)

I never planned on being a Stay At Home Mom (SAHM) . I always planned on having kids but I was also going to have a career. 

When I was in Jr. High, I was going to study Marine Biology and work at Sea World.
But, then I grew up (a tad) and realized I would not enjoy being on a deserted island somewhere studying the mating habits of nudibranchs. (which have both male and female reproductive parts but cannot fertilize themselves. You're welcome. )

So, I decided I would become a science teacher and was taking schooling for that purpose. Then, I met a boy and we fell in love and got pregnant. And, suddenly, all I wanted to do was stay home. And have more babies.  Which I have done and have been extremely happy. And, honestly, I have NO regrets about it. None.

I cannot tell you how many times I have been in a social setting, talking, getting to know new people, and I will be asked "What do you do? For work?"  and I will respond "Oh, I don't work. I stay home with the kids."

I have gotten many different responses. I either get "Oh. How nice. I wish I could afford to stay home." ( Yeah. I'm extra wealthy that way.) Or, I get a slight head nod and never see the person again because they are afraid my boringness is contagious. (Wait until they find out I homeschool as well!) 

Or, I get my least favorite response:  "Honey, that is WORK!! That is the hardest job EVER!  I bet you are BUSY!! I don't know HOW you do it!".  (Yup.Busy, busy, busy, that's me!!) And, I am. That's not a lie. And, while I appreciate the acknowledgement that my being home with my kids, raising them, is a very hard,thankless job, I don't think it's the hardest job "ever". 

I get to be with my kids!  I get to set my own hours, I'm my own boss!!

Does this mean that it's all rainbows and glitter, every day? Of course not!! If you know me at all, you know my rainbow is slightly disfigured and my glitter consists of shredded up toilet paper.

I have often looked at my friends/family that are Work Outside Of The Home Moms and wondered how do they do it?  How does one balance work and taking care of the home and making sure the kids get enough attention and how do they find time for their spouse? 

It certainly depends on the spouse.  Is the spouse willing to do some housework? Cook dinner?  Will the spouse recognize he is needed to pitch in, even after he himself has worked all day? 

It is a lifestyle that has never appealed to myself or my husband. My husband is not one to do housework or cook.  Or carpool.  And, it's worked for us for 14 years. For the most part, because certainly there are days I wished he was one to do more housework and such.

Now, having said all that....do you know how much kids cost? A lot. Do you know how much a mortgage is?   A lot.  Do you know how horrible it is to be poor?  Very. 

Money, or the lack of, is a huge source of stress. For me. For my husband. For our marriage.  We are almost 40 and have nothing saved. Nothing for an emergency.  Not very smart!! 

We decided that I would look for a job. But, not just any job. A job that I could work  part-time and that I would enjoy. A job that would work with our schedule, allowing at least one of us to be home, most of the time, with the kids. Perhaps allowing Jayce to babysit and earn some money of his own (you know, to help purchase the expensive shoes he always seems to "need").

Like I said, I have not "worked" for quite some time. There's not much to put on a resume. Or job application. But, nonetheless, I have been filling them out for 6 months. And have not received a single response. None. Not even from fast food restaurants. 

Until I happened to mention, while volunteering at the assisted living home a mile from my house, that I was looking for part-time work to just the right person.

Soon, I was in a job interview!  And, soon, I was being told that no shift existed for the hours I wanted to work.  Soon, I was telling myself "At least you got an interview this time!".  Soon, I was receiving a call saying they invented a shift just for me!  Soon, I was working!!! 

I have a job!! 

We are still in a state of adjustment here at chez BoringHomer.  But, I think once I am done training and things are a little more predictable, it will be great!!!

My "normal" hours are 4pm-8pm, 3 or 4 days a week. Very part time. Jayce stays with the kids until Judd gets home, approx. 2 hours, and I'm home before bedtime.

And? One of the best parts:  I love it! I love the job, I love being out of the house, I love coming home, I love making new friends.

I won't go into details of what exactly I do, at work. I will just say it involves old people that are sometimes naked.  I know, you are jealous.

Like I said, it's not all perfect rainbows and glitter. This is a HUGE life change for us and first and foremost, my family will always come first.  But, I am feeling less stress knowing that I am helping bring home the bacon (or at least some bacon bits, because the amount of hours I work, times the pay, does not equal alot of bacon). 

It may not be a huge deal to all of you that have been working or, never plan to work , but it is a huge deal for us. 

And, worst case scenario, I will have GREAT stories to tell!

Free "Medical" Advice

Do not, ever, do the following:

• scratch your back, mindlessly, with the writing end of a ball point pen 
• later, you might,while taking a peek at your new haircut, notice horrendous blue "veins" running up and down your upper back. 
• you might scream out "Holy Crap! What is wrong with me?  I have a disease. Kids?  Come here! Look at this!!  Is it horrible?  I must google this!!!" or something to that affect. 
• after about 20 min. of looking online and looking in the mirror again you might remember the back scratcher pen.
• you will feel like an idiot.

Reposting of an Oldie But (In My Humble Opinion) Goodie

 

I Can Read A Book,Make A Sandwich and Sew A Bear.   

 All in the shower.

Can't you?

My kids take a shower or bath at least once a week every other day.  In the summer time, it's more like daily.

They are familiar with the concept.

However, when it comes to MY shower/bath time, I am always amazed at what exactly they think I am doing in there.

It never fails, I get a knock on the door.
"Yes?"
"mumblemumblemumble"
"What?"
"googleygoogleygoogleguck"
"WHAT?"
"blahblahblahblah"
"I can't hear you!  Come in here and tell me!"  By this time, I'm irritated and certain this must be the emergency with which I told them was the only reason they could interrupt my alone time 10 minute shower.

Enter mumbler:  "Can you read me my book?"

"Ummm.....Not right now?  I have shampoo on my hair!"

OR:  "I'm hungry, can I have a sandwich?"
"Yes, only if you want your bread extremely soggy."

OR:  "Princess Bear has a hole in her!!  Can you fix it?"
"I'm afraid of what I would poke if I had a needle in here."


My favorite actually occurred about 8 years ago, when Jayce was about 3 years old.  He was a very imaginative child and LOVED Woody and Buzz.
For some reason, we had his car seat in the living room.
I went to take my shower, putting on Toy Story for about the 3rd time that day.

This was "Pre-JosieJarrettJeven days" so my shower time was a lot less interrupted.  However, I'm about 5 min. into my shower when I hear all this banging around.
"Thump. Thump. Thumpthumpthump"

"What in the  world??"

Pretty soon, I hear Jayce "Mom?"
"Yes, dear child?" Again, it was pre-JosieJarrettJeven days so I had waaayyy more patience back then.
"I'm stuck."

I peek around the curtain to find Jayce with his car seat strapped to his back.

"What happened?"
"I was in my rocket ship, getting ready for blast off. I buckled myself in but now I can't undo it!"

Did I rush right out of the shower and help the poor boy?

Of course not!!  I still had 5 minutes left of my shower!!  And, half of my sandwich left.

Family Fun Day!

Summer is in full swing here!  The weather has (finally!) warmed up and the kids are nice and tan.

My husband had his one and only Saturday off for the summer (probably. seriously.) this past weekend. And, seeing as we are poor, we needed to do something close to home and as cheap as possible.

We decided to go for a drive and ended up at Salt Creek Falls.  While the kids were super stoked at first, they soon got bored and said "What next?"
But, we had fun hiking the trails and being outside.

Jayce, Josie, Jeven and Jarrett

Family!

Luther did not take to the hiking as much as the rest of us.

Jeven, in dirt.

Josie makes dirt look good!

Jarrett and his tree! 

I'm happy to report (cough cough, Karey) no serious injuries were inflicted on anyone. Just bug bites and a few grey hairs pulled.

Rolling Along

Oh how I've wanted to post. Really, I have!!  But, trying to finish up school, starting baseball and just "life as we know it" kept me from posting anything substantial .

I told myself that when school was over, I'd do a nice long post. All about feelings and funnies and family. But, it seems like school wasn't even over for a day and we were OFF!

Off to playdates. Off to the library. Off to here. Off to there. 

On one hand, I'm counting my lucky stars that my kids will be happy with playdates, libraries and random trips to the playground. They won't need fancy vacations (can't afford 'em!) and elaborate projects.

On the other hand, I want to hold up my other hand and say "Stop! Let me catch my breath!"

But,that's not what summer is for!  

So, I will roll with it and try  to enjoy it!

Luther, waiting as patiently as possible for Josie to share. (as always, ignore clutter in background.)

Baseball team and ice cream! 

What does one do when one has too many animals/children? Why, one gets more, of course! Meet Tobias. He is MINE. 

Here's  to a rockin' and rollin' summer! 

Rainy Day Letters

In typical Oregon manner, it was pleasantly spring like and gave us all hope for a forthcoming summer.  For approximately 4 days.

Now, we are back to the rain and dreariness that has been with us for approximately, oh, forever. 

I would wager all my fortune, currently $47, to say that Oregonians have to be the most depressed people on the planet.

I know the rain and darkness have sunk me to an all time low on the depression scale. 

Even my children have been affected. They are whiny, impatient and quick to fight with anyone that looks at them cross-eyed (this last one I know for a fact as one child did look cross-eyed at another child and after that, it. was. ON!) . 

It doesn't help that we are a six person family (8 if you count the ever growing dog) in a 3 bedroom, less that 1000 sq. foot home. My children NEED to go outside for the love of all things holy!!!

Jeven, who, I have to say, is the laziest 6 yr old  I know, and even if he does indeed venture outside, will most likely sit and wonder how long until mom will let him back in, has had enough!

I found this taped to the sliding glass door this afternoon:

It reads:  "Please stop raining and hailing. God please."

Yes, God, please.

For all our sakes.